tomorrow

today is a very strange day.

i can’t quite remember which came first; feeling blue or missing her. anyhow, the mood really suites the day, for the sky is as dark and sombre as how i am feeling. which also leads me to wonder whether the weather is responsible for my melancholy and moodiness today.

a morning visit to a blogger’s post today left a very sour taste in my mouth. a strange intangible feeling which i cannot correctly put into words. but i really can’t recall if this feeling dawned even before that. regardless, it took away all my spirit and energy for the day, so much so that i had wanted to abstain from writing today.

oh, there were plenty of stand-by posts that i had written in the spur of the moment, but i was strangely reluctant to post them. one word to describe today – blue.

i surfed the familiar blogs to source for comfort. who would have guessed that it would finally come from the very same place that emanates all the pain. her blog. if only all of you had a chance to know her before she left. then again, you will know the same pain i do and i surely do not wish that on anybody.

reading her blog again gives me a very strange, yet comforting feeling; almost like nuzzling in the crook of her arms. the warmth. the familiarity. it also opens up the wound but sometimes, you just want to reminded of her, to refresh your fading memories of her smile and laughter.

did i think of her because it was fitting of my depressing mood? or was i depressed because i started to think of her? it hardly matters now. staying a little while in her blog has made me feel better, stronger . almost like she is cheering me on to continue my journey. telling me to smile a little smile.

okay, dear, i will. tomorrow.