do you have any regrets, my friend?
i have always subscribed to the maxim of living life to the fullest. i definitely do not want to be one of those who lies on their death bed, moaning and groaning that there are things that have yet to be done. there is nothing more pathetic than realising at the very last minute that you have not lived your life.
comeon, the warnings are everywhere. even adverts go 'there's no second chance in life'. constant reminders are all over to grind the fact into our sometimes mulish brain that we only get one chance in living and that we should make the most of it. i know that, you know that, everybody knows that.
thus, all my life i have tried to live to the fullest, limited only by my own abilities. i have braced the fear of embarrasment when i told someone that i really like him very much, purely because i do not wish to ever regret not letting him know. i have done things on impulse because i want to give in to my emotions and live for the moment. i have treasured every person and everything in my grasp. i have loved. and i have lived.
yet.......i am still haunted by regrets. i am dogged by lamentation for the choices i have made. the questions in my head are the alternative scenarios should i have travelled down the other route. what will my life be like now? where would i be? the irony is, if i had to live my life all over again, i believe i will still make the same choices i did.
we all live our life constrained by the effects our decisions will have on others. in an ideal world, we can choose to do whatever our heart desires and live life just purely for satisfying our own desires. to go and do wherever and whatever our two feets bring us. however, in the real world, we often have to take into account the feelings of our nearest and dearest and are thus restricted in our actions. after all, we don't live just for ourselves.
i regret joining my father's workforce immediately after graduation but he said he needed me.
i regret not travelling the world whilst i was overseas but family ties were binding me very tightly.
i regret not going camping in the wild but freedom was never my luxury.
i regret not staying single for a longer time to learn more about myself and to love myself but love was a-calling.
i regret not having kids younger so that i will be free from all bindings now but time was ticking.
i regret not having kids later in life so that i will be wiser and better emotionally prepared but i never had the wisdom of foresight.
i regret not learning how to skateboard when i haven't learnt the fear of falling.
i regret not climbing mountains before the acrophobia in me grew out of control.
there will always be a non-exhaustive list of regrets. but for every regret in my heart, i will like to think that i have taken action to eradicate two in my life.
so, i live in this life that is filled with regrets, living my life the only way i know how.
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24 comments:
Regrets? Plenty...too many to list down.
yes, i oso regret for buying that 2 pairs of shoes in 1-U before they marked 'em down by 70%.
arrggghh!!!
i can't think of a regret right now..let me get back to u on that!
This is such a complex post, don't even know what to comment. What I don't want to regret is, not to have even made an attempt to try.
Ahem, getting ready vocals..... 1,2,3
Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off more than I could chew,
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way.
I've loved, I've laughed and cried,
I've had my fill - my share of losing.
But now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.
To think I did all that,
And may I say, not in a shy way -
Oh no. Oh no, not me.
I did it my way.
For what is a man? What has he got?
If not himself - Then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way.
Yes, it was my way.
*standing ovation and encore from the crowd* lol
It's my favourite song! It's OK to look back just make sure it doesn't overwhelmed you then it's OK liao. :-)
Two years ago, I tagged along with my friends to go watch a play in CGMC in Ipoh during Christmas. Albeit a non-Christian I am, the moral of the story managed to put light into my perspective in life.
You have many things you really want in life, but God doesn't necessarily grant them the way you expected it to be. Nonetheless, you will get what you really want eventually, just not exactly the way you want it (I repeat in order to emphasise).
It might sound very patronising to those who never manage to achieve their aspirations. But more often than not, we are hardly happy or appreciative enough even when we finally get the things we want when we force things at the expense of other things we tend to overlook.
If we regret this, regret that... then we would probably stay put and wallow in self-pity and not move on in life.
Of course we all want to be perfect in life (perfection in all things is an evil trait some of us possess); like being born in a wealthy family, good health and nice physical attributes, freedom to do what we want...etc
i regret waking up late this morning and stucked in the jam. but then again, this morning was so cool.. best time to lie around tye bed.. ok, not really a regret after all.
dear king's wife: so cham ah?
dear sooi2: aha! if only we had the ability to see into the future, then we will save ourselves many shopping woes.
dear wuching: wahhhhh..so good, no regret on hand. means overall you live a very happy life. thank you for coming for this physchiatrist visit. that'll be $100.pls pay on your way out.
dear lm: :-) well, not regret to the point that it kills everything else in your life, but it is so frustrating to realise that you will never have the chance to live the lifestyle that you prefer. it may not suit you in the end, but at least you'll have tried.
dear helen: *wolf whistle* encore encore! :-)
dear ian: i understand. but you know how it feels not to be able to scratch an itch? that's how i feel.
dear sengkor: heehee. sounds like it ended up better. sometimes we just don't give ourselves the luxury of just lazing in bed.
Me Gawd! you do live a regretful life.
I will only miss what you have mentioned. Ya, I missed climbing up that mountain or I missed backpacking all over the world, that doesn't warrant regret. If i do that it will become self pity. Always thinking meself as the pitiful one who didn't get a chance to do what i wanted to do because of so and so. to live life wallowing in self pity is destructing.
Never pity yourself. Never lay blame on people or circumsatnces that caused you to forgo things that you would like to have done. Take full responsibility.
Taking your first regret,
i regret joining my father's workforce immediately after graduation but he said he needed me.
your father got the blame.
your second regret,
i regret not travelling the world whilst i was overseas but family ties were binding me very tightly.
your family got the blame.
and the list goes on. something or someone got the blame somehow for your regrets.
You should put it this way,
regret no 2.
i regret not travelling the world whilst i was overseas but I was so attached to my family that I couldn't bear leaving them any longer
Now, YOU are responsible for this non happening. and you say,
"haai... why regret? i myself no use. cannot bear to leave my family"
So now, you can strike off one regret from your list. Keep it up and pretty soon, your life will be without regrets!
Cheers!!
I no longer live my life with regrets. I used to, but no more. Its over already!!!
Now only live forward cos thats something I can still control.... :D
Let me paint another scenario.
Neighbour that you somehow envy: "Hello, my son just got high scores for his violin exam!"
You: "Oh.. ok. congrats."
Do you 'regret' not learning the violin when you were young?
dear ah pek: regret no. 2 wasn't like that. i didn't mind leaving them behind. but i wasn't allowed to make that choice. they wouldn't let me go. true, i could have fight them. i could have just done whatever i wanted. but my own happiness at the expense of others? i wouldn't be happy even if i did it. that was what i wanted to say.
true, i should have borne responsibility for all my regrets for after all, they were my choices not to pursue them in the end. but most of the time, my choices were based on the happiness of others. given a 2nd chance, i will still put their happiness first, but inside of me, there lies an itchiness that cannot be scratched, for things that i wanted to do but sacrificed for the sake of others. and therein, lies my regrets. you can call it missing, i guess. but for me, missing something means you have done it before and desires to re-live the feeling. how can i miss something that i never had the chance to do? my regrets are something that i have no power or no mental strength to change. call me a coward for not wanting to rock the boat. it's not so much self-pity because as i said in the end, for every regret i made sure i have fulfilled two dreams. i don't wallow in it, but sometimes i keep them in mind for who knows, sometimes in the future, i may have the courage to reverse it. it doesn't matter who bears responsibility for the things i wished i could have done for it won't erase that regret. perhaps when the time is right, i will have another chance. if not, well, there are other things in life too look forward to.
dear ff: yes, looking forward. a little foggy in front, but i'm trying my best to see.
dear lm: funny scenario. actually, i don't envy anybody. to each his own. if he can play violin very well, good for him. another musical genius for the world to enjoy. and i don't base my regrets on others' achievements. i base them on what i would like to do and my own desires. so, someone's achievements will not trigger off my regrets. i would have loved to learn some musical instrument but i am also clearly aware i am not musically inclined. am i missing the point?
I regret didn't marrying my wife earlier....although our path crossed 7 years ago.
dear fei: maybe the time was not right? love needs time to grow and mature mah. i bet you treasure her all the more after the 7 years.
I do not know what I or you can do to help yourself lessen the regrets in your past.
But what I do know is that we should stop creating regrets for ourselves now because the future is in our hand.
:)
dear titoki: yes, let's parrrrrrrrty! i don't know whether you have reached your 30th birthday, but ppl say how you spend your 30th birthday is supposed to reflect how you want to live the rest of your life. some said to do it whilst sipping champagne. how will you celebrate yours?
I do have some regrets... things like not having spent enough time with my grandparents and uncle before they left us, the ones that really tug at the heartstrings. for the momentary regrets that come and go, then those aren't the ones worth regretting for a long time.
someone once told me, regrets will only hold you back. maybe there's some truth in that.
Haven't thought about it. Still got a few years to waste before turning 30. *wink wink* ;)
When I turn 30 one day, I don't think I want to celebrate with anyone. Why?
Mom will say, "So farking old already still want people to celebrate your birthday with you ga?! You no shy one meh?!" ;p
Do you ever regret blogging? *ponder*
tikoti: aiyah, where got old cannot celebrate? grandpa at age 80 also celebrates BD wat.
Seriously, I have no regrets... and don't intend to have any... :) To me, if there's nothing that I can do at that point of time even after much effort, so be it and I move on ;)
Sounds so easy, isn't it? Hmmm... I wonder too at times... but hey, life's fragile, life's short... so, let's live life to the fullest! Que sera sera, what will be, will be...
Waaa... tok so big like dat...
dear may: like regretting not giving more time to your relatives, it's not exactly crippling. it's not holding you back in life, just more like a spot. a smudge in your life. or as i try to describe to ian, an itch that you just can't scratch. you still go on with your life....but you think about it once in a blue moon.
dear titoki's mother: cannot say like that one, aunty. no matter how old we are, we still want to feel loved, treasured and appreciated. and usually we get that chance only on our birthday. people remind us that they still care and they still think about us. and that's all it's about. not the celebration that you were born don't know how many years ago. but it will also be nice to remind ourselves on that day that we also love ourself.
dear lm: someone's trying to get into my brain....trying to figure out how i think. why would i regret blogging? so far nothing disastrous has happened. i like blogging, i like writing and i like making friends. maybe i will regret it if i do meet the bloggers. that is one hurdle i am not yet prepared to face.
dear angel: heehee. you are still young, i guess. the older you are, the more regrets you seem to have. however, i hope you never have any and live as happy as you are forever :-) *big smile for angel for being able to live life regret-lessly*
Regrets?
I too, have had a few.
dear licky: we are all but humans. join the club *pat pat*
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