be happy

whenever i look back, things always seem to be better. memories happier, life less complicated, even my mood cheerier. this can't be true. if so, i must be falling into a turbulent pool of declining self-worth. it must be my mind playing tricks on me, just like how grass is always greener on the other side.

happiness is not as easy as it seems. when you were a child, all you need is very little. very little to make you smile, very little to make you contented. when have we made ourselves so complicated? why have we made ourselves so complicated? i was told that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. why then is my face not forever lighted up and that silly grin a permanent feature? god knows i don't have much to be sad about.

i want to be happy. hell, it's one of my resolutions for this year and next. however, i find that i need to make a conscious effort and a whole lot of determination to be happy. i have to wear that reminder like a tatoo on my forehead.

perhaps i have it all wrong. happiness is not laughter, silly grins, jokes and feeling all light and bubbly. that's drunk! maybe happiness is this feeling of peacefulness and confidence that i am experiencing. a deep insight into things surrounding that little will shake my world....

i don't think i'm ready for happiness. to truly know happiness, you must have experienced sadness.

i like where i am.

still, it will be a nice reminder to include 'be happy' in one of my resolutions.....or perhaps 'be drunk' whilst sober is the phrase i am looking for.