A new species spotted!

this is for me.

anyone read the papers today? scientists have discovered a new species of animal. they have named it an 'ex'. very exotic and sometimes can be very attractive. it has very strange characteristics though. it leads you to believe that it can be domesticated and home-bred but as soon as you show signs of falling in that trap, it runs away faster than you can say "what the .....". owners of this new species, beware. for 'ex's that have run away, please do not entertain any further whims from them.

within this species, experts have discovered a sub-species which they have named 'my-ex'. now, these you have to really beware. after it has run away, it has the strange tendency to come back, with the belief that you will be there to welcome them with open arms. scientists have named this anomaly as 'wishful thinking'. there are owners who are dumb enough to give in to this phenomenon and accept them. after some time, the new species 'my-ex' has the tendency to perform the same ritual again: yes, run away and come back again. they will perform this behaviour for several times before you finally get bored of the same ritual and dump them, or worst, get dumped. but as a previous owner of such a species, please be warned if you are thinking of bring one home. that is not the end of the story.

years down the road, after 'my-ex' is thinking of finally settling down, it will come knocking on your door again. ah ha! but after all these years, you have finally grown up and will not fall into its ritual dance again. then they will show their second characteristic : what scientists have termed "emotional blackmail". if they find out that you have settled down happily, they will exhibit this characteristic and try to make you feel bad with sentences like "why did you do this to me?", "you are the only one i want to settle down with" and "you have broken my heart". potential owners, be on your guard now. you cannot, i repeat, you cannot fall for this again (but then again, by this time you would have been tired of all the games and will gladly kick his butt through the door).

you think the story has ended? nooooooo. many many years down the road, "my-ex" will come knocking again. ok. you have matured and do not bear any ill feelings. so, you meet over drinks to catch up on what happened in the last 20 or so years. granted, you are a little defensive and will like to let sleeping dogs lie. but "my-ex" loves digging. give it a bone and it will dig to the center of the world. and it will ask why are you being so defensive? maintain your composure at this point. it will then show you the photos of it's potential mate (for whatever reasons) and deliberate on each point of the past, but not as how you remembered it. suddenly it is glorified and beautified. please remember to be detached and keep your cool at this juncture, otherwise you will fall into its trap once more. don't attempt to smack its head or give it a good punch in the balls. however, if you part with dignity and pleasantry (don't even think of saying 'next time in town, call me lah' unless you really mean it!) you will live to regret it. for despite catching up on old news for the better half of a day, 'my ex' will really call you the next time it is in town. and then what else do you have to say? all that can be asked or said has been said the last time. can you repeat your questions or do you really want to ask new ones? but then again, since you don't really give a damn, what questions can you ask? am i being a bitch for pretending to be busy? sigh! it's a lose lose situation. but one of these days, 'my ex' will call again, and will i be 'busy' again? how many times can i be busy without being rude? why????? why call? what is there for me to talk about? sigh!