monday sucks

when you get older, there seems to be less things that make you happy.

laughters are fleeting and smiles momentarily. the heaviness in my heart, however, seems here to stay. small things, insignificant things bring my mood low. that hardly seems fair to my mind, who is but an innocent bystander to all these external stimuli.

sunday, i asked HB (hubby dearest) if he had any reply to a question i had asked him to put forward to my sister-in-law. he handed me the phone and asked if i wanted to call her myself. maybe it was unfair to him, but emotions know no rationale. it ticked me off. my hands are not amputated. my lips are not super-sealed. if i had wanted to ask her myself, i would have simply lifted the handle off the phone and made the call, instead of asking mr. jerk here. over the past decade, that was his style. which is quite infuriating, really. given the situations were reversed, he would also gladly pass any associations to my family back to me, not to say that we don't love our individual in-laws, but i guess it's just a natural in-built instinct. so, it makes it even more infuriating that he doesn't understand it when the tables are turned on him. arggghhh! that earned him half day of stone-walled silence from yours truly.

monday. mr male-menopause popped me a question out of the blue, just as he was getting dressed for work. what is the name of the brand of shirts he wears? i know mr pig-headed is extremely loyal to one single brand of shirt. and i have even bought a few for him on certain ocassions. but hello? this is not mng or zara that we are talking about. this is no three of four letter word. we are talking about somebody's italian or whatever-language name here. an information that i do not see or come across on a daily basis. damn, i don't even think about it for the last six months. i am supposed to recall that information at the flick of my hand? what am i? super-mental kid? i told him i don't know but i will if he gives me multiple choices. nooo, he wasn't in a very generous mood. i told him i will know it if i saw it in the shopping centre. but that wasn't good enough for mr male-menopause. he was unamused that his little wifey didn't have all these unnecessary information stored up in that grey cell of hers. since when is the ability to retain useful pieces of information a yard-stick for how important someone is in your life? i wasn't pissed when he could never remember my bra-size and for a guy, that's like the only information when their ears perk up.

he told me it started with a 'd' and a 'h' and to let him know when i have recalled it. duh! like i am even going to waste my brain power trying to recall that information. like it will make me richer and more powerful if i can suddenly remember the brand of his shirt. i could have easily opened his cupboard and find that information now, but i am not even going to do that :-p

next, i received a phone call which added the shade of blue of my mood a little darker. and it also sealed my decision not to blog about her anymore. so, my friends, i will not be talking about her here in the future. much as it does stabilise my emotions to blog about how i feel and the ups and downs i feel when i think of her, i have to respect her privacy too. please don't ask me anymore how she is for i all i will be able to say is she is fine.

i just read my mails for the weekend and my happiness indicator suffered another blow. a long-lost best friend shares with me the depression that she is presently suffering from. i don't know how to make her see the light and i don't know if my reply will be enough for her to see the picture but i hope the mere presence of my listening ears will help.

monday sucks!