leaving on a jet plane

this is perhaps the last post that you will be reading from me for a little while. once again, i am taking another short break, which is meant to coincide with my children's school holiday. perhaps the where is not so important, the whom and what being the integral part of the holiday. the places i will be travelling remains the same, the faces unchanged. however, time has altered everything else and i find myself feeling a little apprehensive about this trip. nevertheless, i look forward to the break and the opportunity to drop everything else and just bask in the love of my family.

as always, the pre-holiday preparations are the worst. the people in my company seems to have an extra-sensory antenna meant just for picking up signals of when i will be going off on my holidays. they will in turn pile up all the things that require my most immediate attention and request that it be done - yesterday. this time round, i have not given any of them advance notice. infact, i will be just slipping away, hopefully unnoticed. still, their high-frequency antennas seemed to have picked up the waves and all of a sudden, i am the most popular person in the company again.

for the longest time, i had this very sore back, which i have believed was from all the late night hair-washing. today, i realised that it is from stress that everybody piles on me. my dear friends and families will probably drop their jaws flabbergasted at the suggestion that this little lady is suffering from stress. since my work is invisible most of the time, many people forget that i am not a SAHM. infact, i am a WFHM. my limbs are elongated from all that simultaneous pulling by different quarters, all calling my name for their needs. they have forgotten that i have been created with only two hands and thus, can only handle at most two things at a time. if i start learning how to juggle now, i may be able to add one or two more tasks, but at the risk of dropping all if my attention is diverted for one nano-second.

i am so tired now that my brain can't think straight. plus the fact that the kids are going in and out of my room every two minutes and the phone ringing every five. the highly sensitive tele-tubbies with their supersonic antennas, remember? blogging is fast becoming a luxury for me.

my morning started way before dawn today. my deep and peaceful sleep was rudely interrupted by the little missy and like the elderly lady i am fast becoming, i couldn't go back to sleep for a long time. so, i can only operate on half tank today. from one chore to another meeting, from work to responsiblity, all the while i have to look at my watch so that one will not trespass the schedule of the other. my life seems to be dictated by the ticking of the clock. when out buying necessities that just couldn't wait, i kept looking at the watch. when meeting that business associate, i kept looking at the watch. when attending to urgent work, i kept looking at the watch. when picking up the kids after school, i kept looking at the watch. i will look at the watch all the way to my grave.

being a woman is not easy.
being a woman and a daughter is harder.
being a woman, a daughter and a grand-daughter is even harder.
being a woman, a daughter, a grand-daughter and a mother is even even harder.
being a woman, a daughter, a grand-daughter, a mother and a wife is even even harder.
being a woman, a daughter, a grand-daughter, a mother, a wife and an aunty is even even even harder.
being a woman, a daughter, a grand-daughter, a mother, a wife, an aunty and an employee is even even even even harder.
being a woman, a daughter, a grand-daughter, a mother, a wife, an aunty, an employee and a blogger is impossible.

yes, i indeed do look forward to this break i will be getting.

one more thing to share. this morning, as i brought little master to school, i arrived at the school yard at the same time as another guardian with a child. since i was just a few steps before her, i proceeded to open the front gate to usher my son in. this little grandma, or whom i will assume is the child's grandmother for i am purposely being a little harsh with my presumption here, promptly walked in right after him. without so much as a glance at me or a smile in greeting. had i known that she finds it in order to treat me as the neighbourhood door-woman, i would have stuck my hand out in expectation of a gratuity in return. damn! i could have earned myself a little side income there.

and who says malaysians are rude and they don't hold the doors open for strangers? malaysians are thick enough to make that presumption themselves.