Thursday, January 11, 2007

freaking out

i haven't been updating for a couple of days, discounting my filler poetic attempt post, that is. that's because i'm busy silently freaking out. yes, i'm tearing out precious handfuls of hair and bitting nails like a woodpecker. i'm suppose to be meeting up with another one of those strange specimen from the blogger species and it's freaking me out silly. he's too busy to surf the blogosphere these days, so i'm free to write whatever i want :-p.

blogging has always strike me as wondrous. a place where people will actually shut up and listen (except for those weirdos out there who talk absently to their own monitor whilst reading blogs). a place where races, religion, sex and age does not matter. a place where you meet people you will never meet in your ordinary world, simply because of the above invisible boundaries.

what does a 30...what again (....doing quick mental calculation. sorry, the part of the brain responsible for storing how old i am seems to be permanently warped)....oh yes, 35 years old woman have in common with a 23 year old.....do i dare say it?.....boy. hahaha. that will piss him off if he reads it. which is why it's imperative that we quickly move on. not much, i will say. aside from the obvious fact that they both belong to the same 'oink-ing' and 'grunting' animal sign in the chinese horoscope. 23 seems like a very long time ago to me. then again, my mental capacity probably is still hovering around that level, hence the seeming ability to communicate with him. for that matter, i think he is much more mature than i.

anyway, i digress. since i'm on the subject, what does this woman have in common with a disillusioned 50 year old, a grumpy mid-life-crisis (heehee) 35 years old (or thereabout), a humsup (try as i might, i couldn't find a better english word to adequately translate this) 40 plus, a kind and sweet...errr, i have no idea how old is she, a witty, beautiful and foreign 30+, another sarcastic but really very sweet 20+?.....(what is it with ladies, i seem to have no idea how old they are), a funny and crappy 20+, a poetic 34 .........this will go on forever if i'm going to list all of you so please do not be offended if i move on (i'm already getting myself in much trouble with the above descriptions, as it is). the only thing we have in common is a blog.

behind this blog, we hide ourselves and reveal as much, or as little, as we want to. we seem to communicate, but it's all mostly one-way. we seem to know so much about each other, by virtue of the things posted, but it may be scratching the surface. yes, sometimes we are even thrusted with strange pieces of information such as their sexual preference, disturbing habits and even family-planning process (kakaka) but it could all very well be the creative power of the pen, or in this case, the keyboard. people that we call friends, which we know next to nothing about. people that we think we know everything about, but have absolutely no inkling whether it's true.

so, what is freaking me out? the fact that this unmasking is irreversible? or the fact that i will no longer have a blog to hide my identity behind? definitely it is not the actual prospect of meeting the man, for the last time i checked, he does not have 8 tentacles or two heads. maybe it's the fact that i will no longer be ms. me but someone with an actual identity, name and face.

someone hand me a prozac, please. i want my safe haven.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

how about I hand you a gunny sack so that you can pull it over your head.hehehe...

Anonymous said...

i think i know who!

or maybe not.

aha

Unknown said...

Some like it hot,
some like it cold,
some like it in the pot nine days old.

Haha. Whatever works for you, me.

Ah Pek, gunny sack instead of prozac ah? You've got rhyme, man.

me said...

dear ah pek: just over my head? can you find a bigger one so that i can close myself from head to toe?!?!?

dear gsh: haha. i'm sure you know who he is. *wink*

dear bernard: are we talking about porridge here? haha. *grins*

Anonymous said...

8 tentacles and 2 heads? Lol, talk about having a flair for the dramatic...

Anonymous said...

why would anything need to be freaked out upon, on blogging? there's definitely one thing we all have in common -- we're all human beans (some lucky enough to become "beings"), trying to make life as pleasant as possible here on Earth. :)

Anonymous said...

what? a rendevous with a 23 yo guy?!! wait he calls you "auntie"!! :P

me said...

dear jonzz: what dramatic? i said he doesn't have mah. not correct meh? you would know better, ok, spill the beans! does he have strange body parts that the rest of us should know about? *grins*

dear may: aiyah, you veteran blogger-meeter mah. i'm still very comfy hiding behind my blog mah. very difficult to teach old dogs new tricks lah. heehee.

dear monty: he wouldn't dare! he does value his life, you know. although he did make a number of reference to my age. where are those flying slippers when you need them?