Tuesday, June 20, 2006

are you looking at me?

guys look at girls. that's a fact.

the more inconspicuous ones will steal sideway furtive glances whilst the daring individuals will give you a thorough mri examination, from head to toe and all the way back up again. it's natural, i guess, almost as secondary to them as their instincts. have you ever thought of what goes through the other sex's mind as you do your thing? how they feel? ahhhh...today, we bring you the view from the other side. well, from my side only, actually.

the topic for today: are you looking at me? are you looking at me? who the hell do you think you are looking at? (a la clint eastwood style)

last sunday, i was wondering the streets of sri hartamas, famous for its roadside mamak stalls and various eateries. armed with my dark sunglasses, i was free to look at the people, not to mention cars and other fast moving objects which i should have actually kept my attention on. well, maybe more than look, observe will be a closer description. for the first time ever, i actually took my eyes away from the interesting pavements and whatever booby traps that the wandering dogs leave for me, and focus my attention on the people who are seated so leisurely at the roadside cafes as i walk past.

disclaimer time. people who are not armed with totally blackout sunglasses should not attempt this dangerous stunt. it may result in your teeth being punched in or be at the receiving end of the above clint eastwood statement.

from a distance, i could see this man seated at the mamak stall, his eyes focused on my every movement as i walked nearer. this guy must be damn free...or is this how he gets his little kicks? he is alone, and presumably waiting for someone as the presence of food is glaringly absent from his table. the first thought that crossed my mind? why is he looking at me? still got guys check me out meh? i have never paid any attention to it as i have my head in the clouds most of the time. i have always thought that with two kids clinging on to either side of my hands, it was an instant sex-appeal killer. but this persistent fella's eyes was following my every move.

first reaction - flattery.
second reaction - what the hell is he looking at?
third reaction - see what? see somemore lah, dig your eyes out.
fourth reaction - ahhhh, go get some hooker and indulge in some mind-blowing sex instead of getting free thrills like this.
fifth reaction - are his hands in visibility?
sixth reaction (and probably too late) - suck in tummy and stick out chest.

after a few short minutes of walking in full view of his intrusive eyes, i finally passed him. only to walk in the straight view of three other guys seating at another mamak stall. damn. this time they were even bolder. all three turned their heads to look my way. ehhh...can be discreet a bit or not? it's starting to get very irritating. what? never see a girl before ah? and for those wise-cracking commentors, my skirt was not stuck in my panties because i was wearing jeans, ok? with the present social environment, it is stressful even to merely walk on the streets.

guys are funny. from the distance, they probably couldn't tell if i was an angelina jolie look-a-like or a michael jackson double...but still, they will turn their ignorant sexist neck 180 degrees to check out the piece of meat that is walking down the street, with long straight hair blowing sexily in the wind. it is just the thing guys do. why? basic instinct.

ok, guys, time for a quick lesson. if you must check out a girl, please do it discreetly. a quick glance or two will be appreciated. it is bad taste, i repeat, bad taste to start drooling or make a remark to your friends which in turn cause the whole group to look in the same direction. and it is so passe to make wolf-whistles or cat-calls. you do not need to undress the girl with your eyes because we very much like our clothes on, thank you. and the most important thing, please do not choose this exact moment to adjust the position of your dickie bird. your action may be wildly misconstrued.

and the most important and misinformed point: we do not dress for your benefit. first thing in the morning, when we are choosing our attire for the day, we do not think "hmm...will that stranger on the road like this pink top or the spaghetti strap purple one?". "should i wear this micro-mini skirt for that drooling road-sweeper or this tight jeans for the bakery boy?" for that matter, our male friends, colleagues or spouse also do not come into consideration when choosing the outfit which we will like to wear for the rest of the day. i am taking a wild guess now, but the first consideration will be comfort, second how it looks in our eyes, and third, how we feel about ourselves in the clothes. so, when you see the next girl in spaghetti strap, please do not see until your eyes bulge out and then use the excuse, "she was dressing for us to see what, so we must see lah".

and now you know.

today's valuable social lesson have been brought to you by the department of social courtesy. it has not been our point to make this a sexist topic and we are in no way biased or discriminating. it has been our sole purpose to bring information to the society and to educate the relevant parties.

have a good day *grins*

16 comments:

Ianfluenza said...

OK, now I know. I will re-examine my habits from now on. Hahahaa...

You see you, made me your loyal fan liao. Almost always leaving first comments.

Speaking of ogling, I suck big time when it comes to being subtle. Even quick glances are instinctively made at the most impeccable timings when ladies would look at me back to check if I'm looking at her. Embarrassing it was.

And you made me laugh really badly when you suck in your stomach and stick out your chest only in the 6th reaction. Don't bother lah. If they are still looking at you, I bet they wouldn't have minded that yeah?

OK I'll shut up. Don't shoot your fansee...

Wuching said...

of course we have to look, oogle & drool! eye candies mah! look only leh! won't kill u!

me said...

dear ian: haha. don't bluff. it's not easy to pull the wool over my eyes. the only reason that you are always the first here is because of the time difference. by the time it is 9am here, it's probably noon there and whilst everybody has just started their day, you have been around the blogosphere. true? hehehe

hey, the best part of flirting glances is when you catch each other stealing glances. the ones that make your stomach flutter. i much prefer that to outright stares.

dear wuching: look. ogle. drool all you want but be discreet lah. only then it's fun and flirty. staring is soooo rude. check out that perky behind but not until she feels eyes burning in the middle of her backside. hahahaha.

Robin CHAN said...

Thanks for the tips..

Now I know, I must put on my Rayban sunglasses before I can stare at the cha boh.. hehe

and yea.. how come most of them practise your reaction 6 too.. hmmm

and I thought girls also look at girls most of the time to compare the dressing lah, figure lah and whether that girl is wearing the same dress..

haha

King's wife said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
King's wife said...

They can't help it. It's a natural animal instinct...

Ianfluenza said...

Argh! Darn... You blew my cover! Kekeke...

An interesting note though: I was told that girls are very subtle in checking out ppl. They might be keen on taking a peek at you, but would never let you know at any cost. It is only when I walk around with shades, that I can check out girls, and that I realise they actually check me out too (I meant way longer than a quick glance). It's like although you will not know if that someone is looking at you behind his/her shades, you tend to look at them longer.

Just like some people picking their nose inside the car, eventho they know that there could be a possibility that someone outside is able to see what they are doing.

Cocka Doodle said...

That was you ah that day?
Aiyah! Your fly was open la....and the bush was so thick that we were in awe......too stunned!

wombie said...

I thought the 6 reactions were funny!

Yeah, no harm looking but at least be a bit discreet lah, right?

me said...

dear robin: true also lar. girls check out other girls but when we dress, we don't dress for anybody but ourselves. reaction 6 very important, but maybe should have been reaction 1 lor.

dear king's wife: ya lor. born like that. but maybe can be a little more refined and do it with a little taste.

dear ian: maybe they do know you are looking at them. and they want to be caught in the act. ian, that is such an obvious hint. the poor lady prob was waiting impatiently for you to make your next move. hahaha. errr...re the picking nose bit, i'll skip. too gross.

dear cock: oh, so you were one of the idiot ah. bushy also no need to go wanking in the public mah. see pretty girl like me walk past, already quick quick put your hand to your birdie. so 'how come' how to get girls?

dear simmie: hehehe. ya lor. i'm sure we girls appreciate a little stare now and then but not the hampsup drooling cocka type lor.

Anonymous said...

i am not a woman, but if i get strange stares, i better go to the washroom and check if everything is in place.
unless you are miss malaysia or amber chia.

me said...

everything is in place lah. didn't suddenly grow mustache that i didn't know of. nipples were not peeking out from t-shirt. but guys are guys lah. see something resembling woman, will look first to see 'chun' or not.

sengkor said...

if one day hor, lenglui u go out and not a single soul look at you.. then how..?

Ronnie Ng said...

ya, looking at women is like looking at the sun..can't stare too long

Ianfluenza said...

me: I doubt so. But that's a flattering thought. And I agree with skipping the nose-picking topic.

ronnie: Nice one ronnie. Stare longer and you'll get your eyes burnt, but in this case, gouged. Hahaha...

me said...

dear sengkor. ya hor. but before this, i thought no one looked at me also, so i guess not too bad lor. maybe preferable to people giving you the looks like they are undressing you. i don't mind cute decent guys staring, but when they look like potential killers and rapist, ermmm....i'll skip, thank you.

dear ronnie: good one. our beauty is as brilliant too. hahahahaha. don't puke.

dear ian: since flattering thought, we'll just choose to acept that version lah. a boost to the confidence is very important :-)and the gouging bit. yes!!!