wait...don't go.

life is a series of constant change.

for someone like me who is slow to adapt, that is perhaps the hardest part. just as i am finding my place in the whole state of affairs, everything changes and i have to start all over again.

do you have a favourite restaurant or food stall? i have several, in fact. many years ago, you can find me at my favourite food stall every weekend, with my yummilicious 'yee mee special' - so termed because of the extra ingredients. the soup was so sweet but it did not leave you gasping for water as the cook did not use msg to sweeten the stock. every since i have discovered this delicious version of the normal yee mee, i savoured the taste faithfully at every opportunity that i could get. then one day, after being in maternity confinement for one month, i was shocked to learn that he has disappeared. i had no way of finding out where he went or what happened to him. i could only continue my unfulfilled craving for that very special yee mee in my mind.

last month i discovered that my favourite balinese beef rice has also closed down. with no warning whatsoever - ok, maybe i should have paid more attention to those quiet empty tables but i have always considered it as ambiance. where, where am i going to look for its parallel?

the carrot cake stall that i have mentioned in an earlier post has also closed down for renovation, temporarily, i hope.

i dread the day that my favourite char kway teow and curry laksa will also do the disappearing trick on me. i know that nothing stays the same...but when you have found what you consider to be the very best and have spend your whole life taking only the finest, how do you move on? everything else will pale by comparison and taste bland.

when my mind craves for that very special dish, when my saliva drools in anticipation, what can i do? what am i supposed to do? when nothing else will do but that particular one, how can i appease my soul?

so, a note to all my favourite cooks, please have a thought for all your loyal followers. you leave us roaming like wandering ghouls when you move on, with no direction and motivation. we adapt to what we are left with, but nothing will ever be able to compare. at the very least, leave me your phone number so that i can come a-knocking on your door when i crave for your delectable treat.

sob!