the power of speech

you know what is the most scary?

no, not those transparent floaty thingy that you may bump into in the middle of the night. nor the threat of nuclear weapons from the third world countries. or that hole that is leaking all the harmful rays into our atmosphere.

i just realise today that the most evil power lies within us - our power of speech. with a few sentences, we have the ability to change an individual's life. or for that matter, what we choose not to say will also affect another. some harsh words, or some unkind remarks - can they drive a depressed individual over the bend? there is always the last straw that broke the camel's back; could you have uttered them to an acquaintance in a hurry?

"eh, you look quite fat nowadays" - is that enough to make a self-conscious woman go on an anorexic binge? mothers, did you say to your daughter, "why do you always look so messy? where got anyone want you like that?". will that drive the stake into your daughter's low self-esteem and drive her to look for harmful ways to gain her pride back? "you know, i saw your husband with another woman in a restaurant today" - will that cause an irrepairable break in a suspicious wife's marriage? all these words; uttered in the most innocent way but they may still cut like a sharp knife.

i have a friend who felt most depressed when people ask her the very usual question "what do you do for a living?". for people who don't understand her situation and her fears, they are intent on satisfying their curiosity. but to her, it is a constant reminder that she is not a valuable contribution to the economy, playing on her sadness and insecurities. what do those people gain by asking her that? what good will that knowledge do to them? then, why ask? why not say "you are really a very good mother" or "i like you because you are so sincere".

what harm would a few kind words do? a "you look nice today". or a "thank you for being there for me". even a "you are a good friend". they make a person feel so good and brighten someone's day. isn't it nice to feel appreciated, loved and wanted? doesn't all of us seek recognition and attention?

i nearly caused 'world war 3' today in a friend's household. some words - said in the very best of intention - was nearly misconstrued because i didn't know the fears and feelings of the person listening. i managed to turn the thing around as soon as i realise the effect of what i was saying. but it left me thinking....either i should have expressed myself more clearly or i should have kept my mouth shut. then again, if something had happened because i chose not to say what i know, i can never live it down either.

interaction - there is just so much room for misunderstanding. i am more comfortable here - talking to no one in particular and yet opening up my true self and my thoughts to all of you.

by the way, i truly appreciate your taking the time to read this, my friends of the blogosphere. have a good day.