Tuesday, March 28, 2006

world's best kept secret

gather around, fellow readers.....come closer....for i am about to reveal a very important secret to you today. you must promise never to divulge what you read here today to another living soul......it may hold the key to your future. for those who need the extra cash, listen carefully.......

many professionals out there will know for sure that the key to success is to be able to foretell the next trend. countless people have made a windfall from the internet bubble (yes, and a lot of people got burnt but that is beside the point) and counter-holders profited from the timber and fibre-cable eras. now, the in thing is oil and gold.....so if only we know what is the next trend and catch it before everybody, we are sure to make a bundle. agree?

this is where i have to look around to see if anybody is eavesdropping *looking right and left* and draw the blinds to keep out unwanted attention. for i know what is going to be the next big thing. all you have to do is trust me........

are you guys ready? i am going to say it once and once only. for those with a little bit of cash, invest it all in ..........pig pancreas. yes, you heard it correctly......pig pancreas. wait! don't leave.....and you...at the back there...don't shake your head in disbelief. go to your local market tomorrow morning and buy all the pig pancreas you can and store it in the freezer. in a year's time, you will find that it is more expensive than abalone. let me explain my rationale to those disbelievers out there.

i went to the market at 9:00 this morning to buy some pig pancreas. and what would you know? it was all sold out! all 3 stalls that were selling pork!

for those uninformed, this organ part of the piggy is extremely beneficial for diabetics, coupled with corn silk. boil it for 3 hours with some dried longans, it acts as an insulin supplement to help diabetics keep their blood sugar level low. those with diabetics will know that this is the best solution, since relying fully on medicine in the long run will only impede its effectiveness.

i know you people out there are arguing that there are so many pigs out there, no way will this be considered a premium product along the lines of abalone and shark fins. think again.......long long ago, the sea was filled with sharks and abalone....so much that abalone farming was just for tourist entertainment in australia and people kill sharks ala jaws' style because they were endangering swimmers' life. now....look and see.....sharks have since become an endangered species themselves.

you are still not convinced? consider how many diabetics are there in Malaysia alone. 1 million of the adult population! if these 1 million people were to drink this pig pancreas soup twice a week, how many pigs do we have to kill in a month? for those not so mathematically inclined, it works out to be approximately 8million pigs!!!!! and do we have so many pigs to fulfill the demand?

so...you see, when the demand is there and the supply cannot meet it, the price will definitely go up. simple economics. infact, looking at how the scales are tipped, the price will shoot up like a rocket.

this soup is not only recommended by me, it is recognised in the chinese medical history. so, people, what are you waiting for? run out there and buy all the pig pancreas you can get your hands on......but leave some for me, ok?

9 comments:

Admin said...

but pig pancreas very high cholesterol. after diabetes cured, die of heart attack pulak. how? live with diabetes or die of heart attack?

me said...

drink soup only mah, not eat the organ...won't die of cholesterol one lah. if cholesterol high, i got another soup to remedy, don't worry. you buy your pig pancreas already or not?

King's wife said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sengkor said...

But hor lenglui, u got see out of the 1 million patients how many cannot take becos non halal or not?

me said...

oh yah! damn it! seng kor very the clever.....probably 70% hor....that means still 2,400,000 pigs a month. still a lot mah?! then take away those with allergy to pigs, can't stand the smell of pig organs, born with affinity to pig (like me, cos born in the year of pig), who think drinking pig soup got high cholesterol......not many left hor?......erm....now want to ask for retraction of article, you think too late or not? next time i got hare-brain scheme, i pass copy for you to vet first, ok ah?

seefei said...

got halal pig organ or not?**scratching my head** what about lembu pancreas? i trust some boleh will come out with fake pig pancreas if really there is such demand!! LOL

me said...

huh??!! mana cari demand for fake pig and cow pancreas. kind of defeat the purpose lah if made from gluten or something else. you are one imaginative fella. but if you say you are interested, i can cari keh.......

seefei said...

one more idea...before that tell you a secret hor... i walked into a glass door in the office just now. mouth and nose bleeding...a little bit. now tau toong toong (Kepala pusing). ok... maybe can make pancreas powder and export to the whole world lah. dis one can work or not?

me said...

poor see...do you need to make a trip to the optician for some glasses? i would be rolling on the floor, laughing my stomach out now if were there to see it personally but i can only contend with a small snicker now. (wicked huh? sorry) i have a full glass wall in my house and unfortunately, all visitors seem to walk straight into it. i have to pretend to look all sympathetic whilst trying my best to keep a straight face. i know, i know. so bad of me.

heh, the pig pancreas powder may just work. 80% 20% split, ok? we can do pill form, powder form, gel capsule, powder with chocolate favouring as ice cream topping...got potential man!