are you ready for more ghost stories?

last saturday i read a mail from a reader, pt, who said that he/she likes my writing but it sounded negative/sad/depressed. it was like a smack on the head for me, a wake up call. i had started this blog to get away from the negative side of my character and here i am again, unconsciously wallowing in self-pity. maybe i am melancholic by nature...but i am determined to look on the bright side of things *breaking out in a dance ala bollywood style to the song "the bright side of things"*. (damn! i can't seem to get the tune out of my head now). thank you, pt, for reminding me. and if i do get too pessimistic again.....just thump thump my head against the wall. that should get me seeing stars. and thank you for the part about liking my writing....i write and write but have absolutely no idea whether it is nice to read or just plain vanilla boring...comment appreciated.

in conjunction with cheng ming and also after reading handsome seng kor's post, i decided to share with you the tales following the passing away of my grandmother. before that, i must say, as a prologue, that i am not totally convinced about spirits and ghosts, having never seen one myself, nor experience any supernatural existence. having said that, i do not harbour any desire for any of them to visit me tonight *touch wood*.

my grandmother passed away three years ago. we were all there to grieve for her and carry out the traditional buddhist "ta chai", complete with the robed masters and chantings for 3 day and nights. one night shortly after, i have forgotten how long later, she appeared in her eldest son's dream. well, it wasn't exactly a dream. he was sleeping when he suddenly felt very hot. so hot, that he had to wake up. and in the corner of the room, he "saw" his mother standing there, with a young child beside her (which we believe to be her son who has passed away at a young age) . i said "saw" because he actually had his eyes closed. when he opened his eyes, she was not there. but when he closed his eyes again, she was standing in the corner, like she has never left.

at almost the same time, his daughter, who was sleeping in the next room, also felt very very hot. so hot that she had to get up in the middle of the night to change her clothes as it was drenched with sweat. having done that, she climbed into bed to sleep once again. not long later, she felt the corner of her bed depress, as if someone was sitting there. she was, of course, terrified and refused to budge, staying in that same position for the longest time....until she feel the weight lift from the corner of her bed again.

the next night, my father, who is an absolute disbeliever, was sleeping when he felt the hot flashes too. it woke him up, whereupon he smelt something that he described as the woody smell of coffin. knowing my father as i do, i believed him, for he is the most practical person on earth and is not the type to frighten his children unnecessarily.

perhaps my 4th uncle's experience was the most terrifying, for she had stayed with him for a very long time when she was alive. he was watching tv in the den downstairs and feeling tired, decided to take a nap in my grandmother's room, which was downstairs too. as soon as he entered the room, he had the shock of his life. she was standing in the corner, glowing. and he was awake, mind you. he switched on the lights immediately....and she disappeared...but when he switched off the light, she was standing there again. i sure wouldn't like to be in his shoes. so, what is a filial son supposed to do? ".....errrr....mum....can you please go? i am damn afraid!". no, way. he took two sleeping pills, closed his eyes and laid down on the bed.

my grandmother, it seemed, went to each of her children in turn. each claimed to have dreamt of her or felt her presence. some could smell her perfume even when they were in the office board room. or discuss family issues with her in their dreams.

during the first anniversary of her death, the family went to a medium which could bring her soul back for a brief time. she was very accurate in naming the relatives present and the things that she talked about were so consistent with my grandmother that it was scary.

i believe she has since moved on with life on the other side for she never comes to our dreams anymore. i think it was more of a consolation for her children to be able to see her in their dreams shortly after she passed away, more than it was frightening for them. i reckon that it helped them move on with their life as well.