summary for uncle cocka: saying goodbye.
today, i bid adieu with a very heavy heart. i have to leave all my loyal readers. i do not seem to have much choice in the matter. i want to thank you all for the tremendous support that you have given me all this time. i am deeply touched that you have stayed with me through all my ups and downs and witnessed a part of my journey through life.
you have given me a gift that i shall never forget. you have been there when no one else was around. you have listened when i needed to release the heavy burden from my heart. you have helped me through some potholes. each and every one of you. and i thank you from the very bottom of my heart (hmmmm, why is it always from the very bottom?).
however, it is now time for me to go. hey, don't cry for me.
i'm just going on a holiday for a few days lah. kakakkaka. wellllllll, not 100% percent on a holiday. it's more like a duty to fulfill but i will be having fun. i'll be off to to mickey's new hometown and i'll remember to bring a gift or two for my readers, ok?
before i say goodbye, i will like to leave you with something. a story. i will start the story here, just a few lines and i hope each person visiting this blog will continue the story, with a twist hopefully. don't give me the boring happy ever after thingy, ok? just twist and turn the plot until i come home to find a wrangled and interesting story waiting for me, ok? and i'll know that you missed me too.
meanwhile, don't stop performing. i promise to come back and read all that i have missed.
take care.
ok, the story. let's keep it simple so that you can manipulate it however you want.
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a beautiful and sexy lady named (shall i? treading on dangerous territory here. ok, die die lah) LL (ok, imagine angelina jolie lookalike. what? cannot meh? fiction story mah) *the camera pans for a closer angle* we find her sitting quietly by herself in a roadside cafe, almost as if she was waiting....for someone.... or something. the gentle breeze caressed her smooth dark hair and silken skin. she lets out a long sigh.
your turn :-)
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
are you my friend?
warning: this post may be confusing to some, whilst others, who have been walking this road with me, may know what i am talking about. if you do, congrats because you can say you know me now.
this is my 85th post. i am fast reaching the milestone 100....which gets me a little reflective and contemplative today.
i joined the blogosphere just before she posted her 100th post herself, amidst cheer and jubilations from her fans. shortly after that, she left. it feels very strange. almost like she has passed the baton to me, although unknowingly, for me to continue entertaining her friends while she is gone. i am a far cry from her; her lively delivery, her spirit, her witty and amusing charm. yet, i can't shake off the way fate has arranged for us to be in this blogosphere, in this same space, but at different period of time. i can't help feel the slight tinge of guilt nibbling at my conscience, reminding me that perhaps, by some agreement that only the powers that be will know of, only one of us can exist in the realm. if so, if this destiny is true, i will leave this instant and return everything to the way it was.
i seem to be gambling with the higher forces very frequently nowadays. is this what they mean by selling your soul to the devil? i make another pact today. if she can return to the blogosphere before my 200th post, i will leave this blog forever.
which brings me to another question in my mind. who are my friends?
is she my friend? the one who watched me grow up and walked down many a-roads with me? yet, at the same time, the one whom i could never pour my heart out to. she was always there, but never there. we always talked, but we never seem to talk. i know that it is my fault, my own shortcoming. i could never open up and perhaps, in turn it never encouraged her to open up too. i know her. but did i really know her? many times in life, we think we know someone very well. we know what they do, what they think and what they say. but when i read her blog, there were many things i still did not know. her deepest fear, her deepest thought. through her blog, i understood her a little more. i just wished i had more time to let her know me as well. to let her know of my blog and in turn, read it to know me a little better. would she have ever been interested to?
or are c and i my friends? fate threw us together and gave us a chance to know each other better. fate gave us the venue, the time and the opportunity. we spend so much time talking, pouring out our hearts' that i thought we were indeed close friends. did i mistake their curiousity for concern? did i misunderstood their obliging manners as friendship? all the times that they listened to my woes, were they merely being polite? it is a shock to my system. and a shame to my pride. i don't want to believe all that i had put into the friendship was just a one-way flow by someone so desperate for a listening ear. yet, i found out that when i cut off my contributions, there was nothing left. when i stopped calling, no one called back. when i stopped initiating meetings, no one asked to meet up. but how can this be? how can it be after all our closeness? after being able to tell them things that i have not even been able to tell her? sometimes, fate is as simple as asking the right question. and you will get the right answer.
if they are not, then are my readers my friends? some that have been present since the birth of this blog. those that have been by my side through thick and thin. those that have always offered a kind word when the going gets tough and i just want to crawl up and hide. those that have always listened to me, no matter how bewildering or boring the post may be? or are they looking for a return favour for me to visit their blog? as fei said, every visit we receive is probably a result of 3 visits to others' site. is this just 'you scratch my back, i scratch yours?". do you read my blog because you want to know a little more about me? or do you read my blog hoping i will continue to read yours? i don't want to believe that to be true for if i am to be so cynical, there is no more joy left in life.
so, we choose to believe in whatever we have to.
this is my 85th post. i am fast reaching the milestone 100....which gets me a little reflective and contemplative today.
i joined the blogosphere just before she posted her 100th post herself, amidst cheer and jubilations from her fans. shortly after that, she left. it feels very strange. almost like she has passed the baton to me, although unknowingly, for me to continue entertaining her friends while she is gone. i am a far cry from her; her lively delivery, her spirit, her witty and amusing charm. yet, i can't shake off the way fate has arranged for us to be in this blogosphere, in this same space, but at different period of time. i can't help feel the slight tinge of guilt nibbling at my conscience, reminding me that perhaps, by some agreement that only the powers that be will know of, only one of us can exist in the realm. if so, if this destiny is true, i will leave this instant and return everything to the way it was.
i seem to be gambling with the higher forces very frequently nowadays. is this what they mean by selling your soul to the devil? i make another pact today. if she can return to the blogosphere before my 200th post, i will leave this blog forever.
which brings me to another question in my mind. who are my friends?
is she my friend? the one who watched me grow up and walked down many a-roads with me? yet, at the same time, the one whom i could never pour my heart out to. she was always there, but never there. we always talked, but we never seem to talk. i know that it is my fault, my own shortcoming. i could never open up and perhaps, in turn it never encouraged her to open up too. i know her. but did i really know her? many times in life, we think we know someone very well. we know what they do, what they think and what they say. but when i read her blog, there were many things i still did not know. her deepest fear, her deepest thought. through her blog, i understood her a little more. i just wished i had more time to let her know me as well. to let her know of my blog and in turn, read it to know me a little better. would she have ever been interested to?
or are c and i my friends? fate threw us together and gave us a chance to know each other better. fate gave us the venue, the time and the opportunity. we spend so much time talking, pouring out our hearts' that i thought we were indeed close friends. did i mistake their curiousity for concern? did i misunderstood their obliging manners as friendship? all the times that they listened to my woes, were they merely being polite? it is a shock to my system. and a shame to my pride. i don't want to believe all that i had put into the friendship was just a one-way flow by someone so desperate for a listening ear. yet, i found out that when i cut off my contributions, there was nothing left. when i stopped calling, no one called back. when i stopped initiating meetings, no one asked to meet up. but how can this be? how can it be after all our closeness? after being able to tell them things that i have not even been able to tell her? sometimes, fate is as simple as asking the right question. and you will get the right answer.
if they are not, then are my readers my friends? some that have been present since the birth of this blog. those that have been by my side through thick and thin. those that have always offered a kind word when the going gets tough and i just want to crawl up and hide. those that have always listened to me, no matter how bewildering or boring the post may be? or are they looking for a return favour for me to visit their blog? as fei said, every visit we receive is probably a result of 3 visits to others' site. is this just 'you scratch my back, i scratch yours?". do you read my blog because you want to know a little more about me? or do you read my blog hoping i will continue to read yours? i don't want to believe that to be true for if i am to be so cynical, there is no more joy left in life.
so, we choose to believe in whatever we have to.
Monday, June 26, 2006
the weekend runaround
warning: please be informed that the author has yet to recover from a highly transmittable and infectious disease. please enter and read at your own risk of contamination. the author shall not be liable in the case of an actual transmission and will not entertain any legal claims resulting from it.
hi.
no, i'm not up and running again....i'm kind of drifting here and there. the symptoms have since evolved into a full blast common cold. (why do they call it the common cold? is there a rare cold or a special cold? any doctors out there game for the question?) i have a personal portable cloud that is just sitting on my head, following me everywhere that i go like a fashionable beret. i have also resorted to tying a rope around my nose to prevent it from running away. my neighbour thinks that an old cackling coughing man has moved into my premises, taking up the place of the sexy and cute mistress of the house. and lastly, for any readers who are keen to drop by for a quick visit, please stay for dinner as i have tons and tons of wanton all wrapped up and ready to dish.
so, what am i doing behind the keyboard again? as one of my readers puts it, i blog too much. i offer you my solemn vow, to be your faithful blogger, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad..blah blah blah. and so, even when i am sooooo sick, and in desperate attention of a doctor, i am devotedly commited to bringing you the latest post, to keep your life entertained. erm... now would be a good time to shed an emotional tear or two at my touching rendition.
what should have been a relaxing weekend for me to recuperate turned out to be anything but. it is usually the time for me to catch up on my sleep, and even then, waking up at 8am will be a luxury. however, fate does not accord me that privelege last weekend.
saturday morning started out early with cher-cher's ballet practice at 8:15am. the entire family had to be out of the house by 7:30am and hang around idly for an hour whilst the little girl pranced and twirled to the teacher's instruction. then we set off for another arduous journey to kor-kor's computer class. whilst he was clicking away at the keyboard or whatever games they give him in the pretence of improving his computer skills, we made our way round the supermarket. since my head was forever immersed in the cloudy fog that was still making its home on my cranium, i can't accurately recall whose bright idea it was for me to cook dinner on the very day that i felt so shitty. anyway, decided it was and onwards we pursued. then we caught a quick lunch and some video-renting.
after all that running around for errands in the morning, we came back to home sweet home, where i had a brisk and nice rest. then off we went again in the mid-afternoon to ferry the children to some neighbourhood friendship club. that is the latest synonym for some christianity brain-washing activity where they feed the children delicious snacks and provide amusing entertainment, in return for a chance to convince your children to forever pledge their faith to christianity. i am not in the least bit religious, which is quite obvious from my description of the former, but i have no objection to them being exposed to any religion. and since they seem to derive much pleasure from it, off they go then. plus, it helps keep them out of my hair for a few hours.
there wasn't much point in mummy and daddy dearest returning home for that brief period, so we decided to park our behinds at some popular coffee-place nearby and wait for the clock to tick. we started out by reading the books that have caught our individual attention but as the words flow pass my eyes, the lids got heavier. if anybody passed a cafe last saturday, with a man intently reading a book whilst a lady was snoozing comfortably in the crook of her arms, that will be us. well, at least i had my much desired rest, eventhough the place could have been better.
then, it was time to cook dinner. as i am a novice chef, i needed some time to prepare the dish of the day: baked seafood rice. which was pretty straightforward and easy actually. so confident we were of our skills, that we invited a friend over for dinner. readers out there must be curious whether i bombed at my attempt. welllll......it's hard to tell actually because i have lost my taste bud to mr cold. i can't in all honestly tell you how dinner fared, eventhough hubby dearest said it was good. however, man cannot be trusted to tell the whole thruth since they have a tendency to value their life. all turned out well, considering nobody had to run to the emergency ward for diarrhoea or food poisoning but i still think it was a tall task to ask somebody with no taste bud to cook.
seeing that saturday has already taken up such a long story, i shall cut sunday's tale short. as the precedent has been set, sunday was also not a restful day. we had to rush to sunway for cher-cher's tae-kwan-do grading test which commenced at 9:00am, well 8:45am to be exact, but i only realised this fact after we have firmly parked our bottoms in the car, which meant that we were slightly behind schedule. then off we ferried them for the actual tae-kwan-do classes. for those people who are reeling from the activities that my children take up, be assured that i am not one of those over-achiever mum who forces their children to take up numerous activities in order to fulfill their own self-worth or blah blah blah. the story of them taking up these courses is very long and i shall not repeat here, for the sake of keeping the length of this post reasonable. and for those readers that guessed that there is more to come, bravo! after the classes, little kiddies had to rush for a birthday party. this you can see them do with glee and anticipation.
after all that, i had enough for the day. whilst mummy konked out like a deadwood, daddy dearest amused them. then, it was time for mummy :-( to cook dinner again. yes, second time in a row for this taste-deficient person. then again, daddy dearest helped both times. and for the record, he is the better cook.
ok. did i manage to bore anybody to sleep with the tales of my weekend adventures? no? well, i'll try again next week.
hi.
no, i'm not up and running again....i'm kind of drifting here and there. the symptoms have since evolved into a full blast common cold. (why do they call it the common cold? is there a rare cold or a special cold? any doctors out there game for the question?) i have a personal portable cloud that is just sitting on my head, following me everywhere that i go like a fashionable beret. i have also resorted to tying a rope around my nose to prevent it from running away. my neighbour thinks that an old cackling coughing man has moved into my premises, taking up the place of the sexy and cute mistress of the house. and lastly, for any readers who are keen to drop by for a quick visit, please stay for dinner as i have tons and tons of wanton all wrapped up and ready to dish.
so, what am i doing behind the keyboard again? as one of my readers puts it, i blog too much. i offer you my solemn vow, to be your faithful blogger, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad..blah blah blah. and so, even when i am sooooo sick, and in desperate attention of a doctor, i am devotedly commited to bringing you the latest post, to keep your life entertained. erm... now would be a good time to shed an emotional tear or two at my touching rendition.
what should have been a relaxing weekend for me to recuperate turned out to be anything but. it is usually the time for me to catch up on my sleep, and even then, waking up at 8am will be a luxury. however, fate does not accord me that privelege last weekend.
saturday morning started out early with cher-cher's ballet practice at 8:15am. the entire family had to be out of the house by 7:30am and hang around idly for an hour whilst the little girl pranced and twirled to the teacher's instruction. then we set off for another arduous journey to kor-kor's computer class. whilst he was clicking away at the keyboard or whatever games they give him in the pretence of improving his computer skills, we made our way round the supermarket. since my head was forever immersed in the cloudy fog that was still making its home on my cranium, i can't accurately recall whose bright idea it was for me to cook dinner on the very day that i felt so shitty. anyway, decided it was and onwards we pursued. then we caught a quick lunch and some video-renting.
after all that running around for errands in the morning, we came back to home sweet home, where i had a brisk and nice rest. then off we went again in the mid-afternoon to ferry the children to some neighbourhood friendship club. that is the latest synonym for some christianity brain-washing activity where they feed the children delicious snacks and provide amusing entertainment, in return for a chance to convince your children to forever pledge their faith to christianity. i am not in the least bit religious, which is quite obvious from my description of the former, but i have no objection to them being exposed to any religion. and since they seem to derive much pleasure from it, off they go then. plus, it helps keep them out of my hair for a few hours.
there wasn't much point in mummy and daddy dearest returning home for that brief period, so we decided to park our behinds at some popular coffee-place nearby and wait for the clock to tick. we started out by reading the books that have caught our individual attention but as the words flow pass my eyes, the lids got heavier. if anybody passed a cafe last saturday, with a man intently reading a book whilst a lady was snoozing comfortably in the crook of her arms, that will be us. well, at least i had my much desired rest, eventhough the place could have been better.
then, it was time to cook dinner. as i am a novice chef, i needed some time to prepare the dish of the day: baked seafood rice. which was pretty straightforward and easy actually. so confident we were of our skills, that we invited a friend over for dinner. readers out there must be curious whether i bombed at my attempt. welllll......it's hard to tell actually because i have lost my taste bud to mr cold. i can't in all honestly tell you how dinner fared, eventhough hubby dearest said it was good. however, man cannot be trusted to tell the whole thruth since they have a tendency to value their life. all turned out well, considering nobody had to run to the emergency ward for diarrhoea or food poisoning but i still think it was a tall task to ask somebody with no taste bud to cook.
seeing that saturday has already taken up such a long story, i shall cut sunday's tale short. as the precedent has been set, sunday was also not a restful day. we had to rush to sunway for cher-cher's tae-kwan-do grading test which commenced at 9:00am, well 8:45am to be exact, but i only realised this fact after we have firmly parked our bottoms in the car, which meant that we were slightly behind schedule. then off we ferried them for the actual tae-kwan-do classes. for those people who are reeling from the activities that my children take up, be assured that i am not one of those over-achiever mum who forces their children to take up numerous activities in order to fulfill their own self-worth or blah blah blah. the story of them taking up these courses is very long and i shall not repeat here, for the sake of keeping the length of this post reasonable. and for those readers that guessed that there is more to come, bravo! after the classes, little kiddies had to rush for a birthday party. this you can see them do with glee and anticipation.
after all that, i had enough for the day. whilst mummy konked out like a deadwood, daddy dearest amused them. then, it was time for mummy :-( to cook dinner again. yes, second time in a row for this taste-deficient person. then again, daddy dearest helped both times. and for the record, he is the better cook.
ok. did i manage to bore anybody to sleep with the tales of my weekend adventures? no? well, i'll try again next week.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
down and out
i am sick. i am sooooooooo sickkkkkkkkk.
my eyes feel like they are dry and burning, as if the dark sith lord, mr darth vader, has run his light sabre through them.
my throat is parched and painful. with each swallow of my saliva, a dull and irritating pain reminds me that i should be doing something pro-active about it, instead of whining and groaning. the rest of my body, however, refuses to listen.
my head feels like a million ant soldiers are marching with their boots clamping thunderously on the ground that is my skull.
my stomach is still tender from the gastric juices that it was marinating in.
i can't even smile.................and i don't want to.
i want to crawl back into my bed.
my eyes feel like they are dry and burning, as if the dark sith lord, mr darth vader, has run his light sabre through them.
my throat is parched and painful. with each swallow of my saliva, a dull and irritating pain reminds me that i should be doing something pro-active about it, instead of whining and groaning. the rest of my body, however, refuses to listen.
my head feels like a million ant soldiers are marching with their boots clamping thunderously on the ground that is my skull.
my stomach is still tender from the gastric juices that it was marinating in.
i can't even smile.................and i don't want to.
i want to crawl back into my bed.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
tag no. 3. i'm keeping count.
just spent the whole morning, and the night before, doubled over like the hunchback of notredame. there is, or rather are, protruding hunches, but just not on my back like quasimodo. ahhh..i'm moving away from my topic at hand. my stomach is acting up again. i can't figure out if it is gastritis or colic pains so i have downed both medicine, at different times of course. what do you figure me for? a fool?
ok, the best position for my present condition is all hunched up. and since i am seated down and not physically fit to handle anything else, this is also the best time for me to attack my tag, which was passed to me by that elusive, charming and secretive mask-wearing sengkor.
onwards i trudge.
hmmmm...he doesn't tell me what is the name of this tag. but everybody in the blogosphere seemed to have done it and i'm among the last to hold the baton. everything witty and funny has been said. i'm under immense pressure and stress to perform now........
Four jobs I would stink at:
this one is soooo difficult. being so versatile and knowledgeable, i can hardly think of any job that i will stink at. i'm such a perfectionist that i believe i will excel in whatever field that i pursue. who's that rolling on the floor with laughter out there? yes, you, the one with the snickering laugh. there is no laughter here, until i say so. especially not at the author. let's ignore the disruption and move on. i'll try my upmost hardest to think of four jobs, jussssssst to please the readers. obviously, modesty is not one of my admirable traits.
1. the rubbish disposal person. obviously, isn't it? i would definitely stink after working in such conditions for an extended period of time. infact, my clothes, hair and skin will reek of rotting smell.
2. gigolo - for very obvious reasons also; that i don't possess the necessary tools of the trade.
3. singer. oh, this is one of my litttttttle flaw. i sing like a frog. who is about to be cut open by the school biology class. alive.
4. musician. this goes hand in hand with no. 3. i am just not musically inclined, that's what nice people say about me. plainly, i'm tone deaf. and no sense of rhythm too. catch me clapping hands to music or tapping toes to the beat, you will know what i mean. whilst i try to look cool, my hands and feet are everywhere - but you won't notice it, with my cool and jiving look.
readers are starting to realise that i am taking the longest time to finish even one question. don't start to panic now. i'm sure i'll finish sometime before tomorrow.
Four pretend nicknames I’m making up for myself:
must pretend one ah? how about i tell you my real nicknames. more fun mah.
1. girllllllllll. yes, must enunciate on the lllllllllllll - that's what my mum called me when i was younger, though she hasn't called me that since i have become a mother myself.
2. ah pui. (fatty) ok, for clarification, i am not fat. but my bro calls me that. and everybody else in the family, except for my parents, of course. he calls his skinny underweight daughter that too. so, go figure.
3. honeypot. my children calls me that. since i call them honey, and i take care of them and in a way, encircle them and their lives, i am their honey pot.
4. lenglui. this one everybody knows i call myself that. why? i don't get called lenglui often enough mah, so perasan sikit lah.
Four movies I have watched over and over (and did not fall asleep):
wahhh. this one very susah since i have a tendency to fall asleep, even in the best of movies. so i shall ignore the last part about not falling asleep. most of the movies that i do watch over and over again are because my children feel it will be nice to torture their mother by subjecting her to reruns and re-reruns of their favourite cartoons, until mummy's brain is fried senseless (and won't catch them stealing sweets and other goodies).
so, 1, 2 and 3 will be re-runs of mr bean (which incidentally, i do like. if only he comes up with new episodes), nanny mcphee and tom and jerry.
there is one movie though, that i have watched over and over and over and over on my own initiative.
4. blind romance by tony leung chiu wai. it's no coincidence that i absolutely idolize the actor like a teenage booper. and it's also no coincidence that i am absolutely and totally crazy over the theme song, which is also sung by mr tony leung :-p then again, i don't go ga-ga over his other movies, so i guess it's just the warm fuzzy feel that this movie gives me.
Four things I love to do on weekends:
hmmm. this one is difficult. it says what i love to do, not what i actually do. so, i'll just stick to the question.
1. laze in bed until the sun shines on my backside. in reality, this has not been able to happen since i was in my early twenties. hmmmmm. that timing coincides with the meeting of my husband. it must be him that is disrupting my beauty sleep. and just in case mr ian's mind is skewed again, i mean by my hubby's early and noisy waking up habits.
2. indulge in massage and spa. ahhhhhhhh. need i say more.
3. curl up in a chair and read my favourite books, without any interruptions from noisy children, needy spouse and irritating phone.
4. go for a dinner with close friends. but first i must work on increasing the circle of friends first. sigh!
Four alcoholic beverages I’ve enjoyed:
1. whisky. this one you can always see me nodding my head when dad holds up a glass
2. red wine. when no. 1 is not available, i will substitute with the second best
3. beer. i like them when they are ice-cold and i am very very thirsty and hot. otherwise, i still feel they are too bitter for my liking
4. nedeh. that's all the alcoholic stuff i drink. unless you count beer chicken.
Four celebrities I would go on a Big Date with:
1. hahahahaha. no prizes for first guess. of course, after all that explanation, mr tony leung comes first. what can i say. i like short guys. hahaha. no, it's more of his charismatic eyes and beautiful smile.
2. andy lau. this is another of my idol since young. i like the way he carries himself with such confidence. and the way he is so motivated about everything. yeh yeh andy lau. being handsome does help of course, but just a tiny bit *wink*
3 & 4. hmmmmm. the list is dwindling. very hard to find no. 3 or 4. most of the time, i simply can't stand to be in the company of egoistic, conceited people who think that they are better than anyone else. it doesn't help that their beauty is only skin deep. then again, i should not judge before actually meeting anyone of them. but for now, i simply cannot imagine any other celebrity that i will like to date.
Four things I could not live without (excluding the essentials):
1. handphone, of course.
2. my wallet. is that an essential?
3. my family. oops. this one is no. 1 based on importance. i really should have thought of it first, but well, better late than never.
4. my friends. hmmm. maybe the last two should have been tangible things but i think i will die without them. what will be the point of living?
Four of my favourite foods, whom I’d like to bon appetite with:
wahhhhh. another difficult one. there is just a mountain of food that i like. if i were to list them all, i'll need a bigger and more efficient blogsite. if i were to choose my top 4 favourite, we'll never get pass this question. i'll concentrate on what and with whom specifically.
1. wahyu beef steak with hubby dearest. you realise that whenever i mention hubby, i will add dearest. this will soften the blow for whatever bad things i write about him, should he ever read it (though i have specifically prohibited him from reading my blog- let's leave this subject for another day's post).
2. at the moment, any food will do, as long as i can have it with my good friend.
3. tea, with two missing friends who should have been around to help me through my tough times but are glaringly absent.
4. typical dinner, with my family.
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. new zealand, flying on a hot air-balloon.
2. u.k., to visit friends and just relaxxxxx.
3. on top of mount everest. which means i would have already avoided the difficult climbing bit. since i have acrophobia, there is no way i will ever be able to climb up there. but it will be nice to see the view from up there. eeeekkkk, there's still the climbing down bit....so forget it.
4. nahhhhhh. there's no place like home.
hahahaha. ok, comes the very last part. who am i tagging. ahhh, i'm not going to be one of those nice bloggers who let the tag die a natural death. the curse shall continue!
1. i know he's going to kill me for passing another tag his way. but you guys really should go over to his blog and check out his writings. he's really good. so, mr ian, if you please. you can keep it under your hat until you feel like it, but just make sure i don't rot before reading it.
2. erm, i haven't seen fly boy do it yet, so i guess i'll tag him. humour me?
3. ha. two more. let's see how fei does it, shall we? i know you have just done two, but well, this one is nice cos we can know you a little more.
2. i don't know many people in the blogosphere and all those i know have been tagged. hellllllppppp. this is what happens when your popularity score is low and you don't make an effort to increase it. sigh! robin? are you game?
ok, i've done my best to spread the evil. now, it's their turn.
ok, the best position for my present condition is all hunched up. and since i am seated down and not physically fit to handle anything else, this is also the best time for me to attack my tag, which was passed to me by that elusive, charming and secretive mask-wearing sengkor.
onwards i trudge.
hmmmm...he doesn't tell me what is the name of this tag. but everybody in the blogosphere seemed to have done it and i'm among the last to hold the baton. everything witty and funny has been said. i'm under immense pressure and stress to perform now........
Four jobs I would stink at:
this one is soooo difficult. being so versatile and knowledgeable, i can hardly think of any job that i will stink at. i'm such a perfectionist that i believe i will excel in whatever field that i pursue. who's that rolling on the floor with laughter out there? yes, you, the one with the snickering laugh. there is no laughter here, until i say so. especially not at the author. let's ignore the disruption and move on. i'll try my upmost hardest to think of four jobs, jussssssst to please the readers. obviously, modesty is not one of my admirable traits.
1. the rubbish disposal person. obviously, isn't it? i would definitely stink after working in such conditions for an extended period of time. infact, my clothes, hair and skin will reek of rotting smell.
2. gigolo - for very obvious reasons also; that i don't possess the necessary tools of the trade.
3. singer. oh, this is one of my litttttttle flaw. i sing like a frog. who is about to be cut open by the school biology class. alive.
4. musician. this goes hand in hand with no. 3. i am just not musically inclined, that's what nice people say about me. plainly, i'm tone deaf. and no sense of rhythm too. catch me clapping hands to music or tapping toes to the beat, you will know what i mean. whilst i try to look cool, my hands and feet are everywhere - but you won't notice it, with my cool and jiving look.
readers are starting to realise that i am taking the longest time to finish even one question. don't start to panic now. i'm sure i'll finish sometime before tomorrow.
Four pretend nicknames I’m making up for myself:
must pretend one ah? how about i tell you my real nicknames. more fun mah.
1. girllllllllll. yes, must enunciate on the lllllllllllll - that's what my mum called me when i was younger, though she hasn't called me that since i have become a mother myself.
2. ah pui. (fatty) ok, for clarification, i am not fat. but my bro calls me that. and everybody else in the family, except for my parents, of course. he calls his skinny underweight daughter that too. so, go figure.
3. honeypot. my children calls me that. since i call them honey, and i take care of them and in a way, encircle them and their lives, i am their honey pot.
4. lenglui. this one everybody knows i call myself that. why? i don't get called lenglui often enough mah, so perasan sikit lah.
Four movies I have watched over and over (and did not fall asleep):
wahhh. this one very susah since i have a tendency to fall asleep, even in the best of movies. so i shall ignore the last part about not falling asleep. most of the movies that i do watch over and over again are because my children feel it will be nice to torture their mother by subjecting her to reruns and re-reruns of their favourite cartoons, until mummy's brain is fried senseless (and won't catch them stealing sweets and other goodies).
so, 1, 2 and 3 will be re-runs of mr bean (which incidentally, i do like. if only he comes up with new episodes), nanny mcphee and tom and jerry.
there is one movie though, that i have watched over and over and over and over on my own initiative.
4. blind romance by tony leung chiu wai. it's no coincidence that i absolutely idolize the actor like a teenage booper. and it's also no coincidence that i am absolutely and totally crazy over the theme song, which is also sung by mr tony leung :-p then again, i don't go ga-ga over his other movies, so i guess it's just the warm fuzzy feel that this movie gives me.
Four things I love to do on weekends:
hmmm. this one is difficult. it says what i love to do, not what i actually do. so, i'll just stick to the question.
1. laze in bed until the sun shines on my backside. in reality, this has not been able to happen since i was in my early twenties. hmmmmm. that timing coincides with the meeting of my husband. it must be him that is disrupting my beauty sleep. and just in case mr ian's mind is skewed again, i mean by my hubby's early and noisy waking up habits.
2. indulge in massage and spa. ahhhhhhhh. need i say more.
3. curl up in a chair and read my favourite books, without any interruptions from noisy children, needy spouse and irritating phone.
4. go for a dinner with close friends. but first i must work on increasing the circle of friends first. sigh!
Four alcoholic beverages I’ve enjoyed:
1. whisky. this one you can always see me nodding my head when dad holds up a glass
2. red wine. when no. 1 is not available, i will substitute with the second best
3. beer. i like them when they are ice-cold and i am very very thirsty and hot. otherwise, i still feel they are too bitter for my liking
4. nedeh. that's all the alcoholic stuff i drink. unless you count beer chicken.
Four celebrities I would go on a Big Date with:
1. hahahahaha. no prizes for first guess. of course, after all that explanation, mr tony leung comes first. what can i say. i like short guys. hahaha. no, it's more of his charismatic eyes and beautiful smile.
2. andy lau. this is another of my idol since young. i like the way he carries himself with such confidence. and the way he is so motivated about everything. yeh yeh andy lau. being handsome does help of course, but just a tiny bit *wink*
3 & 4. hmmmmm. the list is dwindling. very hard to find no. 3 or 4. most of the time, i simply can't stand to be in the company of egoistic, conceited people who think that they are better than anyone else. it doesn't help that their beauty is only skin deep. then again, i should not judge before actually meeting anyone of them. but for now, i simply cannot imagine any other celebrity that i will like to date.
Four things I could not live without (excluding the essentials):
1. handphone, of course.
2. my wallet. is that an essential?
3. my family. oops. this one is no. 1 based on importance. i really should have thought of it first, but well, better late than never.
4. my friends. hmmm. maybe the last two should have been tangible things but i think i will die without them. what will be the point of living?
Four of my favourite foods, whom I’d like to bon appetite with:
wahhhhh. another difficult one. there is just a mountain of food that i like. if i were to list them all, i'll need a bigger and more efficient blogsite. if i were to choose my top 4 favourite, we'll never get pass this question. i'll concentrate on what and with whom specifically.
1. wahyu beef steak with hubby dearest. you realise that whenever i mention hubby, i will add dearest. this will soften the blow for whatever bad things i write about him, should he ever read it (though i have specifically prohibited him from reading my blog- let's leave this subject for another day's post).
2. at the moment, any food will do, as long as i can have it with my good friend.
3. tea, with two missing friends who should have been around to help me through my tough times but are glaringly absent.
4. typical dinner, with my family.
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. new zealand, flying on a hot air-balloon.
2. u.k., to visit friends and just relaxxxxx.
3. on top of mount everest. which means i would have already avoided the difficult climbing bit. since i have acrophobia, there is no way i will ever be able to climb up there. but it will be nice to see the view from up there. eeeekkkk, there's still the climbing down bit....so forget it.
4. nahhhhhh. there's no place like home.
hahahaha. ok, comes the very last part. who am i tagging. ahhh, i'm not going to be one of those nice bloggers who let the tag die a natural death. the curse shall continue!
1. i know he's going to kill me for passing another tag his way. but you guys really should go over to his blog and check out his writings. he's really good. so, mr ian, if you please. you can keep it under your hat until you feel like it, but just make sure i don't rot before reading it.
2. erm, i haven't seen fly boy do it yet, so i guess i'll tag him. humour me?
3. ha. two more. let's see how fei does it, shall we? i know you have just done two, but well, this one is nice cos we can know you a little more.
2. i don't know many people in the blogosphere and all those i know have been tagged. hellllllppppp. this is what happens when your popularity score is low and you don't make an effort to increase it. sigh! robin? are you game?
ok, i've done my best to spread the evil. now, it's their turn.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
are you looking at me?
guys look at girls. that's a fact.
the more inconspicuous ones will steal sideway furtive glances whilst the daring individuals will give you a thorough mri examination, from head to toe and all the way back up again. it's natural, i guess, almost as secondary to them as their instincts. have you ever thought of what goes through the other sex's mind as you do your thing? how they feel? ahhhh...today, we bring you the view from the other side. well, from my side only, actually.
the topic for today: are you looking at me? are you looking at me? who the hell do you think you are looking at? (a la clint eastwood style)
last sunday, i was wondering the streets of sri hartamas, famous for its roadside mamak stalls and various eateries. armed with my dark sunglasses, i was free to look at the people, not to mention cars and other fast moving objects which i should have actually kept my attention on. well, maybe more than look, observe will be a closer description. for the first time ever, i actually took my eyes away from the interesting pavements and whatever booby traps that the wandering dogs leave for me, and focus my attention on the people who are seated so leisurely at the roadside cafes as i walk past.
disclaimer time. people who are not armed with totally blackout sunglasses should not attempt this dangerous stunt. it may result in your teeth being punched in or be at the receiving end of the above clint eastwood statement.
from a distance, i could see this man seated at the mamak stall, his eyes focused on my every movement as i walked nearer. this guy must be damn free...or is this how he gets his little kicks? he is alone, and presumably waiting for someone as the presence of food is glaringly absent from his table. the first thought that crossed my mind? why is he looking at me? still got guys check me out meh? i have never paid any attention to it as i have my head in the clouds most of the time. i have always thought that with two kids clinging on to either side of my hands, it was an instant sex-appeal killer. but this persistent fella's eyes was following my every move.
first reaction - flattery.
second reaction - what the hell is he looking at?
third reaction - see what? see somemore lah, dig your eyes out.
fourth reaction - ahhhh, go get some hooker and indulge in some mind-blowing sex instead of getting free thrills like this.
fifth reaction - are his hands in visibility?
sixth reaction (and probably too late) - suck in tummy and stick out chest.
after a few short minutes of walking in full view of his intrusive eyes, i finally passed him. only to walk in the straight view of three other guys seating at another mamak stall. damn. this time they were even bolder. all three turned their heads to look my way. ehhh...can be discreet a bit or not? it's starting to get very irritating. what? never see a girl before ah? and for those wise-cracking commentors, my skirt was not stuck in my panties because i was wearing jeans, ok? with the present social environment, it is stressful even to merely walk on the streets.
guys are funny. from the distance, they probably couldn't tell if i was an angelina jolie look-a-like or a michael jackson double...but still, they will turn their ignorant sexist neck 180 degrees to check out the piece of meat that is walking down the street, with long straight hair blowing sexily in the wind. it is just the thing guys do. why? basic instinct.
ok, guys, time for a quick lesson. if you must check out a girl, please do it discreetly. a quick glance or two will be appreciated. it is bad taste, i repeat, bad taste to start drooling or make a remark to your friends which in turn cause the whole group to look in the same direction. and it is so passe to make wolf-whistles or cat-calls. you do not need to undress the girl with your eyes because we very much like our clothes on, thank you. and the most important thing, please do not choose this exact moment to adjust the position of your dickie bird. your action may be wildly misconstrued.
and the most important and misinformed point: we do not dress for your benefit. first thing in the morning, when we are choosing our attire for the day, we do not think "hmm...will that stranger on the road like this pink top or the spaghetti strap purple one?". "should i wear this micro-mini skirt for that drooling road-sweeper or this tight jeans for the bakery boy?" for that matter, our male friends, colleagues or spouse also do not come into consideration when choosing the outfit which we will like to wear for the rest of the day. i am taking a wild guess now, but the first consideration will be comfort, second how it looks in our eyes, and third, how we feel about ourselves in the clothes. so, when you see the next girl in spaghetti strap, please do not see until your eyes bulge out and then use the excuse, "she was dressing for us to see what, so we must see lah".
and now you know.
today's valuable social lesson have been brought to you by the department of social courtesy. it has not been our point to make this a sexist topic and we are in no way biased or discriminating. it has been our sole purpose to bring information to the society and to educate the relevant parties.
have a good day *grins*
the more inconspicuous ones will steal sideway furtive glances whilst the daring individuals will give you a thorough mri examination, from head to toe and all the way back up again. it's natural, i guess, almost as secondary to them as their instincts. have you ever thought of what goes through the other sex's mind as you do your thing? how they feel? ahhhh...today, we bring you the view from the other side. well, from my side only, actually.
the topic for today: are you looking at me? are you looking at me? who the hell do you think you are looking at? (a la clint eastwood style)
last sunday, i was wondering the streets of sri hartamas, famous for its roadside mamak stalls and various eateries. armed with my dark sunglasses, i was free to look at the people, not to mention cars and other fast moving objects which i should have actually kept my attention on. well, maybe more than look, observe will be a closer description. for the first time ever, i actually took my eyes away from the interesting pavements and whatever booby traps that the wandering dogs leave for me, and focus my attention on the people who are seated so leisurely at the roadside cafes as i walk past.
disclaimer time. people who are not armed with totally blackout sunglasses should not attempt this dangerous stunt. it may result in your teeth being punched in or be at the receiving end of the above clint eastwood statement.
from a distance, i could see this man seated at the mamak stall, his eyes focused on my every movement as i walked nearer. this guy must be damn free...or is this how he gets his little kicks? he is alone, and presumably waiting for someone as the presence of food is glaringly absent from his table. the first thought that crossed my mind? why is he looking at me? still got guys check me out meh? i have never paid any attention to it as i have my head in the clouds most of the time. i have always thought that with two kids clinging on to either side of my hands, it was an instant sex-appeal killer. but this persistent fella's eyes was following my every move.
first reaction - flattery.
second reaction - what the hell is he looking at?
third reaction - see what? see somemore lah, dig your eyes out.
fourth reaction - ahhhh, go get some hooker and indulge in some mind-blowing sex instead of getting free thrills like this.
fifth reaction - are his hands in visibility?
sixth reaction (and probably too late) - suck in tummy and stick out chest.
after a few short minutes of walking in full view of his intrusive eyes, i finally passed him. only to walk in the straight view of three other guys seating at another mamak stall. damn. this time they were even bolder. all three turned their heads to look my way. ehhh...can be discreet a bit or not? it's starting to get very irritating. what? never see a girl before ah? and for those wise-cracking commentors, my skirt was not stuck in my panties because i was wearing jeans, ok? with the present social environment, it is stressful even to merely walk on the streets.
guys are funny. from the distance, they probably couldn't tell if i was an angelina jolie look-a-like or a michael jackson double...but still, they will turn their ignorant sexist neck 180 degrees to check out the piece of meat that is walking down the street, with long straight hair blowing sexily in the wind. it is just the thing guys do. why? basic instinct.
ok, guys, time for a quick lesson. if you must check out a girl, please do it discreetly. a quick glance or two will be appreciated. it is bad taste, i repeat, bad taste to start drooling or make a remark to your friends which in turn cause the whole group to look in the same direction. and it is so passe to make wolf-whistles or cat-calls. you do not need to undress the girl with your eyes because we very much like our clothes on, thank you. and the most important thing, please do not choose this exact moment to adjust the position of your dickie bird. your action may be wildly misconstrued.
and the most important and misinformed point: we do not dress for your benefit. first thing in the morning, when we are choosing our attire for the day, we do not think "hmm...will that stranger on the road like this pink top or the spaghetti strap purple one?". "should i wear this micro-mini skirt for that drooling road-sweeper or this tight jeans for the bakery boy?" for that matter, our male friends, colleagues or spouse also do not come into consideration when choosing the outfit which we will like to wear for the rest of the day. i am taking a wild guess now, but the first consideration will be comfort, second how it looks in our eyes, and third, how we feel about ourselves in the clothes. so, when you see the next girl in spaghetti strap, please do not see until your eyes bulge out and then use the excuse, "she was dressing for us to see what, so we must see lah".
and now you know.
today's valuable social lesson have been brought to you by the department of social courtesy. it has not been our point to make this a sexist topic and we are in no way biased or discriminating. it has been our sole purpose to bring information to the society and to educate the relevant parties.
have a good day *grins*
Monday, June 19, 2006
i eat, therefore i am
i eat when i'm happy
i eat when i'm sad
i eat when i'm nervous
i eat when i'm depressed
i eat when i'm bored
i eat when i'm angry
i eat when i'm celebrating
i eat when i'm having a reunion
i eat when i'm sick
i eat when i'm hungry
i eat when i'm full
i eat when friends come
i eat when i'm alone
i eat when i see television
i eat when i'm reading
i eat when i'm thinking
i eat when i'm tired
i eat when i'm deliberating
i eat when i'm horny
i eat when i'm excited
i eat when i'm frightened
i eat when i'm panicking
i eat when i'm frustrated
i eat when i'm cold
i eat when i'm silly
i eat when i feel lost
the only time that i don't eat is when i'm busy
i need to go on a diet.
Friday, June 16, 2006
i want it now.
yesterday, i was craving for banana leaf rice. sooooo badly. before those inquisitive busybodies can have the opportunity to ask, i will state that i am not pregnant. nedeh.
for no reason whatsoever, i just felt like some delicious indian food, served on the banana leaf, the purpose of which is to add ambience or flavour, i have never figured out. i can almost taste the rich curry and the crunchy papadums. i must have it at all cost.
so, i made a date with hubby and mummy dearest to embark on the mission to source for my delectable treat. most of the places that i know of has closed down or moved. hubby proposed an indian restaurant nearby. but indian food is different from banana leaf indian. and what is the difference? *mimicking hubby's gruff tone*.
for one, there is no papadums. okay, if you ask for it, i am sure they can whip some out from some hidden god-forsaken place (no indian restaurant can get their operating license if they do not have some papadums hidden somewhere in their eatery) but it's still not the same, ok? and what is the difference? the difference is in asking for it or it becoming part and parcel of the meal. ask somemore and risk a quick clobber on the head.
the second difference is they don't have the condiments or little appetiser-thingy that they put on the top of the banana leaf. usually they are some kind of spicy-herby potato, cured cucumbers and etc ( i can only name these two because i am writing about this post-event lah).
and the biggest difference, for the ignorant people, is the absence of the banana leaf! ta dah! profound, wasn't it? so, smart hubby dearest cajoled me to go to the nearest indian restaurant (and hence easier travelling distance and parking for him). but didn't i say that it is different? waiiiiiittttt, not yet finish the sentence..........and bring my own banana leaf rice. *&%^%$@@
after some bashing, twisting and clubbing on the head, he finally conceded to have lunch with me at a club that was once famous for its banana leaf rice, many many moons ago. ahhhhh! one step closer to my banana leaf rice. this arrogant place only accepts members and their oh so valuable membership card. riff-raffs like myself are kept out and looked upon with disdain. aha! but since my secret weapon, mummy dearest, has that powerful tool, i have the luxury of indulging in my craving. ooohh, the saliva is starting to form in the corner of my mouth.
i shall not elaborate too much on the actual lunch, for the benefit of readers who have not taken their meal of the day. but i shall say this; the curry was thick and hot, the fried chicken aromatic, the rice soft and warm and the curry sauce yuuuuuuummilicious. oops. i did say i won't elaborate on it, didn't i? haha. call me wicked. anyway, you get the gist.
fast forward 15 minutes later. three big stomachs protruding and three empty banana leafs. burrrrrrrp! you know what is the best thing in the world? when you suddenly have a craving and you get to fulfill that craving without much delay? (for once you let the desire cool, it's not the same anymore). almost like scratching an itch. ok, come bill time. wellllll, i may be a filial daughter but since this is a 'members only' club, i don't even make the effort to fight for the bill with my mother. she reached for her member's card and passed it to a wandering waiter.
he came back to inform us that the card is a very old one. uhhhh, hello, we can tell from the afro hairstyle my mother's picture was sporting. sooooo? well, it seems that it can't be used anymore. we have to take the card to the office and get it updated. immediately. right now. this instant. otherwise they cannot swipe the card and we cannot pay for our food. which is all fine with us since the food is safely tucked into our tummies. but being decent folks, we naturally insist that we must pay for it. on the other hand, that filling curry and mountain of rice have made my behind quite big and heavy and me a little lazy to track all the way to the office, wait whilst some clerk, who probably is also out for lunch, fix the card and then track all the way back. we wanted to settle the issue by paying cash but it seems that it was not possible. club rules. yes, but my behind is also very lazy. my rule.
with a little persuasion, a little manja and a little 'so-what-can-you-do-i want-to-pay-but-i-don't-want-to-trek-to-mount-everest-and-back' attitude, she finally told me to wait for her in the toilet in a low conspiratorial voice. quick sex in return for lunch?!?! to an overweight middle aged indian lady? i am not that desperate!
anyway, in a situation that feels a little like an undercover spy or gangster movie, cash changed hands in a dirty and narrow hallway. ahhhhhh...the beauty of malaysia and its ever flexible people.
so, that was a fulfilling and satisfying lunch.
for no reason whatsoever, i just felt like some delicious indian food, served on the banana leaf, the purpose of which is to add ambience or flavour, i have never figured out. i can almost taste the rich curry and the crunchy papadums. i must have it at all cost.
so, i made a date with hubby and mummy dearest to embark on the mission to source for my delectable treat. most of the places that i know of has closed down or moved. hubby proposed an indian restaurant nearby. but indian food is different from banana leaf indian. and what is the difference? *mimicking hubby's gruff tone*.
for one, there is no papadums. okay, if you ask for it, i am sure they can whip some out from some hidden god-forsaken place (no indian restaurant can get their operating license if they do not have some papadums hidden somewhere in their eatery) but it's still not the same, ok? and what is the difference? the difference is in asking for it or it becoming part and parcel of the meal. ask somemore and risk a quick clobber on the head.
the second difference is they don't have the condiments or little appetiser-thingy that they put on the top of the banana leaf. usually they are some kind of spicy-herby potato, cured cucumbers and etc ( i can only name these two because i am writing about this post-event lah).
and the biggest difference, for the ignorant people, is the absence of the banana leaf! ta dah! profound, wasn't it? so, smart hubby dearest cajoled me to go to the nearest indian restaurant (and hence easier travelling distance and parking for him). but didn't i say that it is different? waiiiiiittttt, not yet finish the sentence..........and bring my own banana leaf rice. *&%^%$@@
after some bashing, twisting and clubbing on the head, he finally conceded to have lunch with me at a club that was once famous for its banana leaf rice, many many moons ago. ahhhhh! one step closer to my banana leaf rice. this arrogant place only accepts members and their oh so valuable membership card. riff-raffs like myself are kept out and looked upon with disdain. aha! but since my secret weapon, mummy dearest, has that powerful tool, i have the luxury of indulging in my craving. ooohh, the saliva is starting to form in the corner of my mouth.
i shall not elaborate too much on the actual lunch, for the benefit of readers who have not taken their meal of the day. but i shall say this; the curry was thick and hot, the fried chicken aromatic, the rice soft and warm and the curry sauce yuuuuuuummilicious. oops. i did say i won't elaborate on it, didn't i? haha. call me wicked. anyway, you get the gist.
fast forward 15 minutes later. three big stomachs protruding and three empty banana leafs. burrrrrrrp! you know what is the best thing in the world? when you suddenly have a craving and you get to fulfill that craving without much delay? (for once you let the desire cool, it's not the same anymore). almost like scratching an itch. ok, come bill time. wellllll, i may be a filial daughter but since this is a 'members only' club, i don't even make the effort to fight for the bill with my mother. she reached for her member's card and passed it to a wandering waiter.
he came back to inform us that the card is a very old one. uhhhh, hello, we can tell from the afro hairstyle my mother's picture was sporting. sooooo? well, it seems that it can't be used anymore. we have to take the card to the office and get it updated. immediately. right now. this instant. otherwise they cannot swipe the card and we cannot pay for our food. which is all fine with us since the food is safely tucked into our tummies. but being decent folks, we naturally insist that we must pay for it. on the other hand, that filling curry and mountain of rice have made my behind quite big and heavy and me a little lazy to track all the way to the office, wait whilst some clerk, who probably is also out for lunch, fix the card and then track all the way back. we wanted to settle the issue by paying cash but it seems that it was not possible. club rules. yes, but my behind is also very lazy. my rule.
with a little persuasion, a little manja and a little 'so-what-can-you-do-i want-to-pay-but-i-don't-want-to-trek-to-mount-everest-and-back' attitude, she finally told me to wait for her in the toilet in a low conspiratorial voice. quick sex in return for lunch?!?! to an overweight middle aged indian lady? i am not that desperate!
anyway, in a situation that feels a little like an undercover spy or gangster movie, cash changed hands in a dirty and narrow hallway. ahhhhhh...the beauty of malaysia and its ever flexible people.
so, that was a fulfilling and satisfying lunch.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
a beautiful morning
i take a leisurely stroll inside my mind today.
the sky is a beautiful blue, the clouds white and fluffy. i walk along an enchanting path, both sides lined with colourful wild flowers. the fragrance emanating from the blooms envelops me and leaves me with a peaceful contentment. i can hear the birds chirping joyfully nearby and see the little squirrels running around in the distance, with their hoardings.
it is most idylic. coming up to a tall and shady tree, i lie down on the cool grass that is still damp from the dew and gazed into the sky. ahhhhhhh! it is such a luxury to be able to just lie here, gazing at the open sky and do nothing.
the sky is very cloudy today, shading the intense bright sun for my comfort. with no thoughts running around in that brain of mind, i am at peace. i feel my body relaxing and is one with the ground. my eyes focused on the white fluffy clouds just above, looking like soft tender marshmallows. so spongy. so soft. so comforting.
hey, there is one that looks juuuusssst like a rabbit. with its puffy body and pure whiteness. i can just imagine the rabbit chewing away at the grass. so adorable. soooo...ohmygawd?! there is an elongated shaped cloud, just hovering nearby. so like a slithering snake, coiled up and waiting to strike at its victim. and it even has a diamond-shaped head. a python. watching the rabbit with his slitty evil eyes as it continues to chew so innocently at the grass.
suddenly, a gust of wind came from nowhere. the clouds have shifted. i can only make out the snake now. the rabbit is no longer there. but joining the snake are more animals; an elephant, a cow and a crocodile. hey! what's the crocodile doing out of the waters?
the day has turned out to be quite windy. the clouds are moving, even as we speak. i can see the snake and the cow turning and rolling on the grass. they tumble together as the snake coils its body around the cow. the cow gives a brave fight, twisting with all its might, hoping to squash the snake under its heavy weight. i can see the snake raising his head to strike the cow. waitaminit! this is turning out to be like the discovery channel.
i shake my head to clear the images and i get up and walk off.
the sky is a beautiful blue, the clouds white and fluffy. i walk along an enchanting path, both sides lined with colourful wild flowers. the fragrance emanating from the blooms envelops me and leaves me with a peaceful contentment. i can hear the birds chirping joyfully nearby and see the little squirrels running around in the distance, with their hoardings.
it is most idylic. coming up to a tall and shady tree, i lie down on the cool grass that is still damp from the dew and gazed into the sky. ahhhhhhh! it is such a luxury to be able to just lie here, gazing at the open sky and do nothing.
the sky is very cloudy today, shading the intense bright sun for my comfort. with no thoughts running around in that brain of mind, i am at peace. i feel my body relaxing and is one with the ground. my eyes focused on the white fluffy clouds just above, looking like soft tender marshmallows. so spongy. so soft. so comforting.
hey, there is one that looks juuuusssst like a rabbit. with its puffy body and pure whiteness. i can just imagine the rabbit chewing away at the grass. so adorable. soooo...ohmygawd?! there is an elongated shaped cloud, just hovering nearby. so like a slithering snake, coiled up and waiting to strike at its victim. and it even has a diamond-shaped head. a python. watching the rabbit with his slitty evil eyes as it continues to chew so innocently at the grass.
suddenly, a gust of wind came from nowhere. the clouds have shifted. i can only make out the snake now. the rabbit is no longer there. but joining the snake are more animals; an elephant, a cow and a crocodile. hey! what's the crocodile doing out of the waters?
the day has turned out to be quite windy. the clouds are moving, even as we speak. i can see the snake and the cow turning and rolling on the grass. they tumble together as the snake coils its body around the cow. the cow gives a brave fight, twisting with all its might, hoping to squash the snake under its heavy weight. i can see the snake raising his head to strike the cow. waitaminit! this is turning out to be like the discovery channel.
i shake my head to clear the images and i get up and walk off.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
parenting is life's most difficult job
this morning started out as a bright and sunny day.
now, i have a headache. again.
life is such an irony.
things were much simpler when i was a kid. i remember our elders teaching us the proper mind-set and principles for life. the lessons were simple. basic rudimentary moral codes that we would have known even if it was not grinded into us 24/7.
you should treat everybody equal and approach them with humility and manners.
you should have respect for public properties and not throw rubbish everywhere.
you should not talk to strangers.
you should work hard in your studies and behave in the classroom.
but when you grow up, you realise that all the teachings are merely idealistic dreams in a fool's paradise.
i have had so many experiences with people who just do not respond to refined decorum and mild-mannered suggestion. on the contrary, a strong firm voice with a little attitude and a lot of arrogance will get the other party jumping and acceding to your request within the shortest time-frame possible.
my husband had a little problem with a certain man, who was plainly recalcitrant and pulling his feet behind. his polite request and reminders were ignored and disregarded. feeling frustrated that the whole simple request was taking way too long, i send an sms in his name; the same sms as he had earlier sent, without the 'please' and 'thank you'. and i added 'a second reminder' to the front of the text. within one minute, he responded with a 'no problem'. this was the same request that my husband has been asking from him for the past two weeks. by the end of the day, that man still has not come back with the required information. again, i took his handphone and send another message, this time with a 'when can i have it?'. within half an hour, the necessary information was forwarded to us. this is only one example of so many that i have encountered in life. a slightly raised voice and a little attitude...is that the way to better efficiency?
so, how do i teach my kids? to treat everybody fairly and gently, with 'please' and 'thank you' punctuating your sentences? but if it would get nothing done for them? surely, it cannot be morally correct to teach them to intimidate and frighten others into action. but it is a 'big fish eat small fish' world out there, so do i teach them proper manners or how to survive?
i was in a queue with some very young students today. everybody was waiting for their turn, albeit impatiently as they have to return to class. a prefect stepped in front and jumped the queue. his classmate told him that he was cutting in and that he should join the queue like everybody else. that little boy gave a wordly expression, probably from imitating his parents, and said it was alright as he was in a hurry. okaaaayyyy, so was everybody else in the queue. anyway, the cashier took his payment for the purchase, which in turn caused the other boys to say that they should have done the same in the first place and they will not queue in the future. so, do i teach my daughter to fight for what she wants or wait blindly like the rest of the students? yes, if everybody does not follow rules, there will be chaos. but have you never jumped queue whilst waiting at a badly-jammed road? so, does she wait and risk being scolded by the teacher for being late, or does she feign ignorance and walk innocently to the front of the cashier?
i tell my children all the time that they should be wary when talking to strangers. for evil has no face. you can't tell if the friendly looking lady is plotting some not so pleasant schemes. however, when she meet people in the lift, and they ask her friendly questions like which school she goes to and other normal pleasantries, she ignores them. she has always been shy with strangers but i was upset that she could be so rude. she comes back with the reply, 'but you tell me not to talk to strangers'. again, i am defeated. i do not know what to say or do. she is right. then again, wouldn't normal courtesy require that she acknowledge the lady? i am starting to question what is right and what is wrong.
people tell me that good mothers will check their children's homework. so, if i were to spot a mistake, do i point it out to her? if i do, she will correct all the errors and hand to the teacher an error-free work, which will not highlight to the teacher that she is not very familiar with the topic. if i don't, then what is the point of checking the work in the first place? surely it can't be natural for a child to always hand in a perfect workpaper. is she is forever correct, she must be a genius. but then again, how can i check my daughter's work and leave the error there, knowing full well that she will be marked wrong.
loving a child is easy. it's nurturing them and teaching them that is the most difficult. when they were babies, all you have to do is provide them with lots of love, attention and make sure they are properly clothed and fed. when they grow older, you have to be careful of stiffling them with your love. you have to give them leaway to make their own mistake, and watch while they resent you for not being there to mollycoddle them. you have to let them grow and harden your heart against their wimpy cries. you tell them you love them and send them out in the tough world.
i'm in a dilemma now whether to 'rescue' my daughter from an unpleasant situation in school. or to let her learn that this is what the real world is like. isn't it a little too early yet? i want her to remain as innocent, sweet and untouched as long as it's possible. but she must also learn to fight her own battles and hopefully grow from there. but what if she doesn't have it in her? shouldn't i protect her? what if she is not yet ready?
i really don't know how to be a good parent anymore.
now, i have a headache. again.
life is such an irony.
things were much simpler when i was a kid. i remember our elders teaching us the proper mind-set and principles for life. the lessons were simple. basic rudimentary moral codes that we would have known even if it was not grinded into us 24/7.
you should treat everybody equal and approach them with humility and manners.
you should have respect for public properties and not throw rubbish everywhere.
you should not talk to strangers.
you should work hard in your studies and behave in the classroom.
but when you grow up, you realise that all the teachings are merely idealistic dreams in a fool's paradise.
i have had so many experiences with people who just do not respond to refined decorum and mild-mannered suggestion. on the contrary, a strong firm voice with a little attitude and a lot of arrogance will get the other party jumping and acceding to your request within the shortest time-frame possible.
my husband had a little problem with a certain man, who was plainly recalcitrant and pulling his feet behind. his polite request and reminders were ignored and disregarded. feeling frustrated that the whole simple request was taking way too long, i send an sms in his name; the same sms as he had earlier sent, without the 'please' and 'thank you'. and i added 'a second reminder' to the front of the text. within one minute, he responded with a 'no problem'. this was the same request that my husband has been asking from him for the past two weeks. by the end of the day, that man still has not come back with the required information. again, i took his handphone and send another message, this time with a 'when can i have it?'. within half an hour, the necessary information was forwarded to us. this is only one example of so many that i have encountered in life. a slightly raised voice and a little attitude...is that the way to better efficiency?
so, how do i teach my kids? to treat everybody fairly and gently, with 'please' and 'thank you' punctuating your sentences? but if it would get nothing done for them? surely, it cannot be morally correct to teach them to intimidate and frighten others into action. but it is a 'big fish eat small fish' world out there, so do i teach them proper manners or how to survive?
i was in a queue with some very young students today. everybody was waiting for their turn, albeit impatiently as they have to return to class. a prefect stepped in front and jumped the queue. his classmate told him that he was cutting in and that he should join the queue like everybody else. that little boy gave a wordly expression, probably from imitating his parents, and said it was alright as he was in a hurry. okaaaayyyy, so was everybody else in the queue. anyway, the cashier took his payment for the purchase, which in turn caused the other boys to say that they should have done the same in the first place and they will not queue in the future. so, do i teach my daughter to fight for what she wants or wait blindly like the rest of the students? yes, if everybody does not follow rules, there will be chaos. but have you never jumped queue whilst waiting at a badly-jammed road? so, does she wait and risk being scolded by the teacher for being late, or does she feign ignorance and walk innocently to the front of the cashier?
i tell my children all the time that they should be wary when talking to strangers. for evil has no face. you can't tell if the friendly looking lady is plotting some not so pleasant schemes. however, when she meet people in the lift, and they ask her friendly questions like which school she goes to and other normal pleasantries, she ignores them. she has always been shy with strangers but i was upset that she could be so rude. she comes back with the reply, 'but you tell me not to talk to strangers'. again, i am defeated. i do not know what to say or do. she is right. then again, wouldn't normal courtesy require that she acknowledge the lady? i am starting to question what is right and what is wrong.
people tell me that good mothers will check their children's homework. so, if i were to spot a mistake, do i point it out to her? if i do, she will correct all the errors and hand to the teacher an error-free work, which will not highlight to the teacher that she is not very familiar with the topic. if i don't, then what is the point of checking the work in the first place? surely it can't be natural for a child to always hand in a perfect workpaper. is she is forever correct, she must be a genius. but then again, how can i check my daughter's work and leave the error there, knowing full well that she will be marked wrong.
loving a child is easy. it's nurturing them and teaching them that is the most difficult. when they were babies, all you have to do is provide them with lots of love, attention and make sure they are properly clothed and fed. when they grow older, you have to be careful of stiffling them with your love. you have to give them leaway to make their own mistake, and watch while they resent you for not being there to mollycoddle them. you have to let them grow and harden your heart against their wimpy cries. you tell them you love them and send them out in the tough world.
i'm in a dilemma now whether to 'rescue' my daughter from an unpleasant situation in school. or to let her learn that this is what the real world is like. isn't it a little too early yet? i want her to remain as innocent, sweet and untouched as long as it's possible. but she must also learn to fight her own battles and hopefully grow from there. but what if she doesn't have it in her? shouldn't i protect her? what if she is not yet ready?
i really don't know how to be a good parent anymore.
Monday, June 12, 2006
the triangle
ahhhhh....! the school holiday has come and went. now, as i gear myself to return to the humdrum routine of my life, my mind focuses itself on the affairs of my heart.
sigh! it's confession time once again.
many readers know me as a happily married woman with two kids. these they have gleaned from my writings. what you don't know is that i once found myself in the middle of a triangular love affair, of which i find myself unable to extricate, or was it unwilling to extricate.
how do i even begin to tell the story? it is not so simple as a and b loves c. in the matters of the heart, there is no right or wrong. there is no 'should i' or 'shouldn't i', only what your beating thumping heart tells you. your lying betraying heart.
when i first saw him, i knew that he was the one that i have been waiting for. eventhough my husband was by my side, i couldn't help but sneak another peek at him. yes, he was all that i want. cute, cheerful, nice and so handsome. and he looked straight back at me. i could tell that he felt the same way about me; he had the biggest smile that was reserved just for me. and that was the beginning.
however, i soon discovered that there was another party to this affair. c was equally smitten with him. should i step aside and let the two of them have the 'happily ever after'? i have mulled over this question many times. i am, after all a married woman, and i have no right to his tender loving. despite all the reasonings and rationalisation, i find it very hard to give him up and all his amorous devotion. he has always been there for me, always ready for a warm hug and a listening ear. i have become addicted to his overflowing tolerance, thoughtfulness and tenderness.
i was so confused, so desperate. there was no one i could turn to. i knew that whilst i still have half a reasoning power left, whilst i am still strong enough, i should leave him. and so i did. i gave him up and passed him over to c. was i very generous? or was i afraid of destroying my marriage? i really couldn't tell the difference between the two. i just knew that it felt like the right thing to do.
the last i heard, they are very happy together. i still see them, very frequently. but the pain has lessen and i can manage a smile too. i do wish them every happiness. but should c one day decides that he is not the one, i will be there, waiting, to catch him with open arms.
meanwhile, i have my family.
selfish? we must all be true to our heart and for happiness, we must all strive.
a picture of me and him during our happier times. shortly after this picture was taken, i stepped aside as the third party and let c, my son, have him. to hug, to hold and to cherish forever.
sigh! it's confession time once again.
many readers know me as a happily married woman with two kids. these they have gleaned from my writings. what you don't know is that i once found myself in the middle of a triangular love affair, of which i find myself unable to extricate, or was it unwilling to extricate.
how do i even begin to tell the story? it is not so simple as a and b loves c. in the matters of the heart, there is no right or wrong. there is no 'should i' or 'shouldn't i', only what your beating thumping heart tells you. your lying betraying heart.
when i first saw him, i knew that he was the one that i have been waiting for. eventhough my husband was by my side, i couldn't help but sneak another peek at him. yes, he was all that i want. cute, cheerful, nice and so handsome. and he looked straight back at me. i could tell that he felt the same way about me; he had the biggest smile that was reserved just for me. and that was the beginning.
however, i soon discovered that there was another party to this affair. c was equally smitten with him. should i step aside and let the two of them have the 'happily ever after'? i have mulled over this question many times. i am, after all a married woman, and i have no right to his tender loving. despite all the reasonings and rationalisation, i find it very hard to give him up and all his amorous devotion. he has always been there for me, always ready for a warm hug and a listening ear. i have become addicted to his overflowing tolerance, thoughtfulness and tenderness.
i was so confused, so desperate. there was no one i could turn to. i knew that whilst i still have half a reasoning power left, whilst i am still strong enough, i should leave him. and so i did. i gave him up and passed him over to c. was i very generous? or was i afraid of destroying my marriage? i really couldn't tell the difference between the two. i just knew that it felt like the right thing to do.
the last i heard, they are very happy together. i still see them, very frequently. but the pain has lessen and i can manage a smile too. i do wish them every happiness. but should c one day decides that he is not the one, i will be there, waiting, to catch him with open arms.
meanwhile, i have my family.
selfish? we must all be true to our heart and for happiness, we must all strive.
a picture of me and him during our happier times. shortly after this picture was taken, i stepped aside as the third party and let c, my son, have him. to hug, to hold and to cherish forever.
Friday, June 09, 2006
it's a jungle out there
my thoughts are all over the place. blame it on the school holiday; i can't even finish one complete sentence without interruptions from the two little devils at the moment. or put it all down to jittery nerves and stress. i find myself flitting from thoughts to thoughts, flapping my wings again even before the process of rumination is complete.reading my recent entries, i realised that my sentences were short and clipped. i can even sense the impatience behind them. at the moment, i'm seated in the midst of a modern-day jungle; one of those multi-storied places for children to climb, run and exhaust all their surplus energy. ahhh! the saviour of mothers with hyperactive children. i'm surrounded on all sides by screaming children and chattering mothers. strangely, in a place as noisy as this, i am left to find my peace and acknowledge my thoughts.
i do wish the kids will stop shouting for their mummies. each time a child screams 'mumeeeeee' all the mothers look up, half expecting that it is their child who is needing the attention. it is quite a comical sight, and if you are to fast-forward a replay of their actions, we will all look like the woodpeckers, busy nodding and pecking our beaks in unison at imaginary tree trunks.
half-time, my children's throats were parched and in dire need for a drink. i gave them $10 and send them off in the direction of the food counter for a bottle of mineral water, a stick of sausage and a stick of fishballs. the food? well, i've to keep myself amused too, don't i? anyway, they eagerly came back, their hands laden with their precious treasure and their mouths salivating at the sight of the food.
either the prices of food in this place are astronomically exorbitant or the kids have forgotten to wait for their change. well, this is as good a time to teach them to speak for themselves and accountability. so, off i send them again to ask for what is rightfully theirs. after a lot of stammering, hiding behind each other's back and shoving, they returned triumphantly with $5 change. hurray! their first lesson in standing up for themselves in the real world.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
yes, it was delicious!
one of the many reunions for this month materialised yesterday.
it was pleasant enough. talking about the good old times and the people that we knew, though i can hardly claim to have any memory of the past. as my friend said, "it's hard to reminisce about the past when you can't even remember it." well, that's me and that's my brain. strangely, most of my memories are locked away in some secret chest hidden from my conscious mind and the pathetic part is i've even misplaced the key.
anyway, we had lunch in a cosy restaurant tucked away somewhere near the city centre. the ambience itself was very nice, considering that we were the only people there and had the entire place all to ourselves.
the food, however, wasn't much to shout about. not that it wasn't pleasant, just not impressive enought to warrant a second visit. nevertheless, we ventured into desserts to celebrate my friend's forthcoming birthday. again, the cake and tart were not exactly mouth-watering. infact, she found a piece of cling-film in the cheesecake, which supposedly the chef only started to prepare the very minute we ordered.
our heads bend together in conspiratorial giggles while we criticise the quality of the food and the seemingly lack of control in the preparation of the food. with what must be ghostly footsteps, the rotund owner suddenly appeared from nowhere and enquired if we were enjoying the dessert. our immediate response was "good, good". was it our guilty conscience? or was it just diplomacy and politeness?
many a times, when the tall foreign chef appears in his tall cook's hat, so sophisticated and accomplished, and ask our opinion of the food that we have just tasted, all that we can say is "very good" or "yes, delicious", eventhough we definitely have a comment or two that we can make out of earshot.
is it his astute presence that belittle our own humble opinion? or is it tact and fear of hurting other people's feeling? or simply that we are afraid they will avenge unfavourable comments by an extra spit, or two, in our dessert.
you tell me.
it was pleasant enough. talking about the good old times and the people that we knew, though i can hardly claim to have any memory of the past. as my friend said, "it's hard to reminisce about the past when you can't even remember it." well, that's me and that's my brain. strangely, most of my memories are locked away in some secret chest hidden from my conscious mind and the pathetic part is i've even misplaced the key.
anyway, we had lunch in a cosy restaurant tucked away somewhere near the city centre. the ambience itself was very nice, considering that we were the only people there and had the entire place all to ourselves.
the food, however, wasn't much to shout about. not that it wasn't pleasant, just not impressive enought to warrant a second visit. nevertheless, we ventured into desserts to celebrate my friend's forthcoming birthday. again, the cake and tart were not exactly mouth-watering. infact, she found a piece of cling-film in the cheesecake, which supposedly the chef only started to prepare the very minute we ordered.
our heads bend together in conspiratorial giggles while we criticise the quality of the food and the seemingly lack of control in the preparation of the food. with what must be ghostly footsteps, the rotund owner suddenly appeared from nowhere and enquired if we were enjoying the dessert. our immediate response was "good, good". was it our guilty conscience? or was it just diplomacy and politeness?many a times, when the tall foreign chef appears in his tall cook's hat, so sophisticated and accomplished, and ask our opinion of the food that we have just tasted, all that we can say is "very good" or "yes, delicious", eventhough we definitely have a comment or two that we can make out of earshot.
is it his astute presence that belittle our own humble opinion? or is it tact and fear of hurting other people's feeling? or simply that we are afraid they will avenge unfavourable comments by an extra spit, or two, in our dessert. you tell me.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
the amazing amazement
the micro network of nerves and vessels in my body are blocked today and i am unable to conjure up the words that i need to express myself properly. bear with me...and at anytime that i seem to be lost and ranting nonsensically, humour me.
anyway, today i want to talk about the powers that be. what does that mean? even wikipedia have no idea what i was asking. or is it that i just don't know how to ask. to me, in this modern age, the powers that be is the internet.
i have never realised the power of the super information highway. i do look up the net for any information that i need but it's such a hassle to sieve through all that information for the exact one that i want. but lately, this 'thing' has become like a second skin to me. read on.
last year, a guy found me through some 'lost friends' website that i have registered ages ago. it seems that he went to the same primary school and college that i did. he also studied in the same town for uni. bearing in mind that all three sites were in different countries, i see it as a great coincidence. or maybe fate. he could even name common friends and teachers, despite the fact that he was one year my junior. it amazes me that someone i do not know matched my footsteps in life so closely. anyway, he turned out to be some kind of semi-stalker. well, i never said that it is a good thing.
then, my cousin managed to track down my very first puppy love. this i have blogged about, so there's not much to say on it, until i meet up with him again. still, it just boggles my mind that people i have not seen or heard of in ages, suddenly become very accessible to me.
last week, i decided to google my best friend in singapore, during my secondary school days. yes, there was one single match for that name and i had a very strange feeling. call it intuition. call it premonition. i was very sure that this lady was
the friend that i have lost contact with ages ago. there wasn't any doubt in my mind. if you have ever searched for a person on the net, you will know that there are thousands of people out there with the same name and the chances of you finding the one that you want is next to never.
i took the chance that this lady will think of me as a perverted sexual creep and sent an e-mail to her. lo and behold. she replied and yes, she is the one and the same. i am really excited. to be able to find my friend again after all these years. people that i have written off and resigned to becoming just a memory. i just feel like dancing and jumping around with joy and excitement but i refrain myself for the only reason that i am a sensible and practical person.
there are more. two years ago, i think, i googled a guy who discarded me like a moth-eaten cloth eons ago. i thought we were dating and everything was going smoothly. suddenly, he stopped contacting me and just disappeared from the face of the earth, or was it just from my life. with no explanation whatsoever. anyway, i found him and know him to be happy and healthy. that's all i ask then.
hmmm....speaking of which, there is another guy just like that. but i have never managed to locate him. is it me or are these guys too wimpy? what is it about them? as far as i know, i have never devoured another person alive, so the least they owe me will be an explanation or a closure. jerks. i really did have very bad vision back then. anyway, i'm digressing.
i've also found other friends, but at the moment, i do not have the initiative to contact them. or the motivation. maybe one day when my spirit and body is moving in harmony.
there are others that i have not been able to find. but i believe it's just a matter of time. for one reason or another, your name will come up on the internet. hopefully, it's not when you are arrested for streaking across the city hall or when you decide to pocket that $50 bill that do not belong to you (yes, you know i am talking about you *grins*)
anyway, today i want to talk about the powers that be. what does that mean? even wikipedia have no idea what i was asking. or is it that i just don't know how to ask. to me, in this modern age, the powers that be is the internet.
i have never realised the power of the super information highway. i do look up the net for any information that i need but it's such a hassle to sieve through all that information for the exact one that i want. but lately, this 'thing' has become like a second skin to me. read on.
last year, a guy found me through some 'lost friends' website that i have registered ages ago. it seems that he went to the same primary school and college that i did. he also studied in the same town for uni. bearing in mind that all three sites were in different countries, i see it as a great coincidence. or maybe fate. he could even name common friends and teachers, despite the fact that he was one year my junior. it amazes me that someone i do not know matched my footsteps in life so closely. anyway, he turned out to be some kind of semi-stalker. well, i never said that it is a good thing.
then, my cousin managed to track down my very first puppy love. this i have blogged about, so there's not much to say on it, until i meet up with him again. still, it just boggles my mind that people i have not seen or heard of in ages, suddenly become very accessible to me.
last week, i decided to google my best friend in singapore, during my secondary school days. yes, there was one single match for that name and i had a very strange feeling. call it intuition. call it premonition. i was very sure that this lady was
the friend that i have lost contact with ages ago. there wasn't any doubt in my mind. if you have ever searched for a person on the net, you will know that there are thousands of people out there with the same name and the chances of you finding the one that you want is next to never.
i took the chance that this lady will think of me as a perverted sexual creep and sent an e-mail to her. lo and behold. she replied and yes, she is the one and the same. i am really excited. to be able to find my friend again after all these years. people that i have written off and resigned to becoming just a memory. i just feel like dancing and jumping around with joy and excitement but i refrain myself for the only reason that i am a sensible and practical person.
there are more. two years ago, i think, i googled a guy who discarded me like a moth-eaten cloth eons ago. i thought we were dating and everything was going smoothly. suddenly, he stopped contacting me and just disappeared from the face of the earth, or was it just from my life. with no explanation whatsoever. anyway, i found him and know him to be happy and healthy. that's all i ask then.
hmmm....speaking of which, there is another guy just like that. but i have never managed to locate him. is it me or are these guys too wimpy? what is it about them? as far as i know, i have never devoured another person alive, so the least they owe me will be an explanation or a closure. jerks. i really did have very bad vision back then. anyway, i'm digressing.
i've also found other friends, but at the moment, i do not have the initiative to contact them. or the motivation. maybe one day when my spirit and body is moving in harmony.
there are others that i have not been able to find. but i believe it's just a matter of time. for one reason or another, your name will come up on the internet. hopefully, it's not when you are arrested for streaking across the city hall or when you decide to pocket that $50 bill that do not belong to you (yes, you know i am talking about you *grins*)
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
that's life
do you want to have dinner at the above table? with the varied dishes of oriental cuisine; braised whole abalone in oyster sauce; the delectable 'monk jumping over the wall', the fresh lobster sashimi, the fans of shark fin in double boiled chicken stock.......slurp! it's so quiet you can enjoy your dinner in peace. in fact, you can actually hear the flapping of the wings of the fly that just flew past.
or would you prefer a warm, albeit noisy, dinner with lots of chatter, not to mention fights and arguments....looking from the picture, probably about who gets the fish head.
everybody's fighting to get to the top, where supposedly all the riches are waiting for them. when you reach there, if you ever do, it may be a very lonely and cold place.
there is no halfway in life. either you get all the riches and prestigious title, with the accompanying package of distance and coolness from your closest and dearest....or you lead a comfortable, but sometimes tiring, life with those that matter to you but you never see the zeros that follow a million dollar in your bank account.
i have two very enterprising and hardworking imaginary friends. being very close and compatible, they decided to venture into business together. it was a joy watching them work. they actually enjoyed what they were doing; joking all the time and pulling each other's leg. their company alone was infectious. everybody loved doing business with them, if just to have their zeal and laughter rub off on you for a brief period of time.
as a result, their business grew and grew. they had to bring in extra staffs and move to a bigger place. more jobs came their way. their bank accounts had a lot more zeros. this is a success story in the making. but are they happy? can't say that they aren't because that is what every business owner dreams of; to grow and expand. their names are recognised in the industry. but i don't hear their laughters as much anymore. i don't see them kidding each other; in fact they are so stressed out that their nerves are strayed, and their patience forever tested. they don't have enough time for their leisure activities and are always edgy. they are not unhappy......but are they happy?
still, it's the inevitable way to move, isn't it? forward. nobody wants to stand still or be stuck in a stale environment. who would choose to stay wherever they are economically and be forever content? after all, they are enterprising and ambitious young people.
isn't life ironic?
Monday, June 05, 2006
what's in store for you in the month of june?
monday morning again. ahhhhhh....
i had a good weekend, i think, because i feel........... rested. that tight knot on my shoulder is softer this morning, but i am still harbouring a secret desire to park my behind, and the rest of the carcass, at some spa hidden away from the hustle bustle.
had a nice morning catching up on the weekend postings of other bloggers and dropped a few lines here and there. yawn! now, my turn to fire away. another 5 days of blogging before it's another week.
it's june now and that's almost half the year down the drain. i was thinking about what i have done so far and what had happened this year, but i guess it's still early in the year and i will think about how far i have come only at the end of it.
june is a funny month. may has been relatively quiet, with all my friends missing in action, especially when i needed a warm voice of concern or the touch of a friendly hand. the absence was almost deafening. still, i survived.
but june is a different matter. people that i haven't talked to for a long time called me out of the blue. notice that i didn't use the term friends, because they were mostly business acquaintances. and when those people give you a call, you can be sure that they are not concerned about how you have been lately or what's the latest in your life. the very idea of answering the calls fill me with such dread. there must be something that they are a-wanting.
errr...i actually avoided one of the calls but he was quite a persistent little fella. sigh! anyway, these people are really strange. because they cannot take no for an answer. i had to come up with half a thousand reasons why i can't meet up with them; doesn't want to will be more like it but robin will be clucking his tongue and reminding me not to be too rude again. so, i toned it down and spent half an hour each to turn down their invitation. see, robin, i have been a good girl. maybe it's just me, but i just don't enjoy sitting there for half a day whilst some people pretend to want to know me better when they have some hidden agenda up their sleeves.
a meeting up of another sort also cropped up in this month of june. my cousin, which i was pretty close with when i was younger, invited us for lunch with her family. now, that one was nice. we have never been able to find the opportunity to have a get-together and i am really glad we did it last weekend. ahhh...the warmth of someone who cares. people tend to take things like that for granted but i have too far and few in between so i love it when these warm and sincere get-togethers happen.
and this week, i will be meeting up with an old friend and an ex. i let the ex tag along for old times sake, so that he can see how well i am doing. hmmm....spiteful? no, more just like a reunion for reunion's sake. a meeting that was supposed to happen ages ago but i guess everybody, with the strange exception of me, has been just too busy. anyway, it should be interesting....if just to see how he has grown, physically if not mentally. ha ha ha. another supposedly spiteful remark. i really should make more of an effort to keep it down *wry grin*. but it will be good because i get to see my old friend too, whose friendship has grown apart after all these time. it's a little sad when you think about friendships changing and fading like that, but at least i had the good times.
i also have another scheduled for the end of this month....hopefully. crossing my fingers. i have not met him since primary school so i am very curious to meet up again. (this is not the same 'him' as the above). i can't honestly say i remember how he looked like then, and even his old photo in the year book looks strangely alien to me. 22 years...that's a lot of catching up to do.
people i have not seen or talked to in ages......june seems to be a promising month.
ok. have a good week ahead everybody.
note: blogger.com is not accepting my pics again. wait, let me kick it around a bit and see what happens. stay tuned for today's pic.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
my dear buttercup
i love flowers and greens. i really do. those long-flowing colourful blooms, those beautiful posies...but they have the strangest habit of dying on me.
once in a while, i will pick up all my gardening tools and attend to those little potties sitting on my balcony. it's calming and relaxing when you work with your hands, leaving your head empty and clear for a little while. but it's unrewarding for all of them have a tendency to wilt and shrivel away. maybe the key word is in the 'once in a while'. *grins*. maybe i have not been paying them enough attention and tender loving care on a regular basis.
in the back of my mind, i know that they need regular maintenance. i just can't seem to remember to do it. or find the time slot to attend to them. oh, they have their usual doses of water for them to survive but that's just about all they have. their fertilisers and pruning will have to wait until they reach their place in my priority list......which is pretty far down at the moment.
i complain to hubby dearest that i don't have a green thumb, or anything resembling that slightest tinge of colour for that matter. when i have the time to look after them, i have a tendency to drown them with too much tlc (tender loving care). either way, they seem to be on the losing end.
there is one little beautiful green sitting near my bathtub. and because it stands alone in that forsaken place, it tends to be forgotten. everytime that my glance happen
s to fall on it fortuitously, it is dried and drooping. but still, it manages to survive.
infact, the other day, i caught one trying to run away. i am dejected, but i shall not give up.
flower-lovers, please don't set the witch-hunt on me. i really love them to bits. i just don't have a very good memory.
once in a while, i will pick up all my gardening tools and attend to those little potties sitting on my balcony. it's calming and relaxing when you work with your hands, leaving your head empty and clear for a little while. but it's unrewarding for all of them have a tendency to wilt and shrivel away. maybe the key word is in the 'once in a while'. *grins*. maybe i have not been paying them enough attention and tender loving care on a regular basis.
in the back of my mind, i know that they need regular maintenance. i just can't seem to remember to do it. or find the time slot to attend to them. oh, they have their usual doses of water for them to survive but that's just about all they have. their fertilisers and pruning will have to wait until they reach their place in my priority list......which is pretty far down at the moment.
i complain to hubby dearest that i don't have a green thumb, or anything resembling that slightest tinge of colour for that matter. when i have the time to look after them, i have a tendency to drown them with too much tlc (tender loving care). either way, they seem to be on the losing end.
there is one little beautiful green sitting near my bathtub. and because it stands alone in that forsaken place, it tends to be forgotten. everytime that my glance happen
s to fall on it fortuitously, it is dried and drooping. but still, it manages to survive.infact, the other day, i caught one trying to run away. i am dejected, but i shall not give up.
flower-lovers, please don't set the witch-hunt on me. i really love them to bits. i just don't have a very good memory.
just another day
i am so bored! soooooooo freaking bored!
whilst other parents are frolicking with their children in the golden sand, or snapping pictures of happy smiles somewhere over the rainbow, i am here....bored out of my mind. everybody keeps asking me 'where are you going for the school holiday?' and i feel like screaming 'my house'. no, not scream at them but at myself. i'm not angry or frustrated, just plain vanilla bored.
ok, everybody, let me start an ad-hoc educational class, here and now.
pay attention:
in german, they call it gebohrt
in spanish, they call it agujereado
in french, they call it alese (sorry, don't know how to do that little stroke above the letters 'e')
in italian, they call it alesato
in portugese, they call it furado
in cantonese, they call it hoe moon ahhhhhhhhhhh
in mandarin, they call it how mern ahhhhhhhhhh'
in bahasa melayu, they call it bosan
in english, they call it bored out of my bloody skull.
in hokkien, they call it sian kar ai seeeeeeeeeeeeeee
ok. all together now.
boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.
boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.
boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.
boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.
boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring
boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.
boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.
boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.
boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.boring.
class dismissed.
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